


The Thing Is, I Love You

by dasvidaniya_anya



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - 70s/80s, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Finn Rose and Paige are Good Bros, Idiots in Love, Minor Bazine Netal/Ben Solo, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Mutual Pining, a When Harry Met Sally AU, a gratuitous amount of movie references because I'm a sucker for old movies, the author watched when harry met sally and couldn't let it go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasvidaniya_anya/pseuds/dasvidaniya_anya
Summary: Fresh out of university, Ben is ready to start a new life in a new city. Rey is waiting for something to happen to her, but she wasn't expecting him, the single most unpleasant person she'd ever met. Eighteen hours later they part ways, possibly forever. But fate has other plans. Five years later, they meet again, but Ben doesn't recognise her. They say the third time's the charm, right?Or, when they met the first time, Rey did not like Ben Solo. The second time, he didn't even remember her. The third time, they became friends. Until they didn't. Then, they fell in love.a.k.a  When Ben Met Rey
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	The Thing Is, I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I rewatched When Harry Met Sally and couldn't help myself so here you go.
> 
> I do not own the characters or the general plot of this story, those belong to the incredible teams behind both movies.
> 
> Also, it's the single greatest rom-com of all time. Fight me.
> 
> Feel free to leave a kudos/comment!
> 
> Join me on tumblr @the-demonllama

The University of Chicago  
1977

Rey was beginning to regret agreeing to give Jannah’s boyfriend a ride from Chicago to New York. Sure, at the time it seemed like a good idea - it was a long journey to do by yourself - but now, as she watched them play an intense game of tonsil tennis, she was beginning to feel like it wouldn’t have been so bad. The couple didn’t notice her when she pulled up, and continued to be oblivious to her presence as she waited.

Rey sighed and checked her hair in the rearview mirror, making sure her carefully styled blowout was still intact, then looked back at her friend. They were still kissing, only taking small pauses to breathe and to mumble ‘I love you’s in each other’s ears. They still hadn’t noticed her. Rey leaned out the window and cleared her throat. The couple jumped apart in surprise.

“Hi,” Rey smiled at them. Jannah had the decency to blush and look down sheepishly.

“Ben, this is Rey. Rey, Ben.” She introduced them with a delicate wave of her hand. Ben smiled and shook her hand.

“Trunk’s open,” she glanced down at his luggage, “you want to drive first?” Ben shook his head as he shouldered a duffle bag and Jannah helped him put his stuff in the trunk next to Rey’s belongings. The pair embraced once more.

“Remember to call me…” Jannah murmured, gazing up at him longingly. Rey gagged slightly. She loved Jannah, but this was too much.

“I’ll call you once I get there.” Ben kissed her nose, making Rey roll her eyes. Jannah reached down to squeeze his ass. His eyebrows rose, but he grinned down at her anyway. “I love you.”

“I love you, too…” The couple began kissing again. Rey sighed and hit her head off the headrest as she waited. After a couple of minutes, they were still making out, so Rey honked the horn. The pair sprang apart.

“That was an accident, sorry!” Rey feigned embarrassment. Ben kissed Jannah’s forehead before he slid into the passenger seat. Rey pulled away as fast as she could, before they could start kissing again. Once Jannah was out of sight, Ben settled into his seat properly.

“So, this trip will take eighteen hours, which means six shifts of three hours each, or we can do it by mileage. There’s a map on the visor where I’ve marked all the places we can change.” Rey explained. Ben nodded thoughtfully for a moment. A long, awkward silence stretched between them.

“Tell me the story of your life,” Ben raised an eyebrow at her. Rey chuckled slightly.

“Why on earth would you want to hear that?”

“You said it yourself - we have eighteen hours of travel ahead of us. So we either do that, or we spend the trip in silence.” Rey had to admit he had a point.

“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but my life story is mostly boring with just a splash of depressing - nothing’s really happened to me yet! That’s why I’m going to New York.”

“You’re British, right?” Rey nodded at him. “Something must’ve happened to you to end up here, then.” Rey shrugged.

“I was born in London, my parents brought me over when I was little, then abandoned me in a parking lot when I was six. I bounced around the system for a while, and now I’m here.”

“That is depressing, but definitely not boring.”

“It's pretty much the only thing that’s happened to me.”

“So you’re going to New York because you want something that is both interesting and not-depressing to happen to you?” Rey nodded again. “Like what?”

“Well, I’m going to back university. I want to be a mechanical engineer.” Ben snorted and shook his head.

“Wouldn’t have taken you for a grease monkey, but I did figure you were the type of person that thinks attending university is a personality trait. And you think that learning how to be a mechanical engineer is somehow interesting and non-depressing?” Rey opened her mouth to argue, but she couldn’t think of anything to say.

“It’s interesting to me, but not to others, I suppose…” she conceded.

“Okay, then, what if nothing happens to you? What if you live a typical New York life that nobody notices, then you die, and people only notice two weeks later, when the smell of your rotting body drifts into the hallway of your apartment complex.” Rey’s eyes widened as she regarded him for a moment to see if he was kidding. He looked perfectly serious. _If he kills me during this trip_ , Rey thought, _I’m haunting Jannah for the rest of her life_. She turned onto the highway.

“Jannah never mentioned you were a psycho,” she muttered. Ben grinned roguishly.

“It’s why she likes me so much.”

“Really?” It was Rey’s turn to snort.

“Yes,” he eyed her critically, “you wouldn’t get it, you’re definitely the kind of cheerful person who dots her ‘i’s with little flowers or hearts, or something.” He chuckled to himself. Rey felt her hackles rise.

“What is your _problem_?” She snapped, but Ben continued talking as if she hadn’t spoken.

“You know what I do? Whenever I start a new book, I read the last page first, so if I die before I finish it, I know how it ends.” Rey was sure she’d never seen a man look so pleased with himself in her entire life. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Wow, Ben, that’s really deep.” She bit out, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. Ben frowned at her. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with me being a happy person even though you aren’t.”

“You ever think about death?” Rey groaned internally at his question.

“Sure.”

“I bet it’s only a fleeting thought, though. I spend hours, no, days -”

“And therefore you’re a better person than me?” Rey all but growled at him.

“I just mean that, when it happens, I will be ready and you will not.”

“True, but you’re going to ruin your whole life waiting for it to happen.” Rey shook her head slightly. “Why are you going to New York?”

“Just graduated law school, but I don’t think I’m gonna be a lawyer. I see this more as a stepping stone to something else.”

“I would have guessed you were going to be a mortician,” Rey murmured. “You should be one of those lawyers that does wills, then you’ll get to talk about death to people who actually care.” Ben grinned and turned to face out the window. They were on a truly gorgeous bit of road; the pair of them were content to make small talk and admire the sights until it was time to switch. Rey reached forward and played the mixtape she’d prepared for the journey.

*

Jabba’s Motel And Diner  
1977

It was dark by the time Ben pulled into the motel/diner parking lot, and they’d spent the best part of the last hour debating various points of ‘Casablanca’. Rey was - adorably, infuriatingly - wrong, but Ben discovered he liked debating with her. Sure, he did a lot of debating in law school, but it was much more enjoyable when they were discussing stupid things that didn’t matter anyway.

“He puts her on the plane because he doesn’t want her to stay.” Ben said as he stopped the car.

“No, no,” Rey argued, “she wants to leave, so she does.” Ben shook his head.

“Why on earth would she leave Humphrey Bogart for Paul Henreid? That’s like saying Rita Hayworth shouldn’t have gone back to Gene Kelly at the end of Cover Girl.”

“Probably because she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life married to a man who runs a bar in Casablanca, of all places. And yes, Rita Hayworth should not have gone back to Gene Kelly at the end of that movie, either.”

“So you would you rather be stuck in a passionless marriage than be with the man who’s stolen your heart and with whom you’ve had the greatest sex of your entire life just because all he does is run a bar?” Rey nodded firmly.

“Women are incredibly practical, especially one like Ingrid Bergman, so any woman in their right mind would do exactly what she does at the end of the movie. She’s going to be the _First Lady of Czechoslovakia_ for crying out loud.” 

“Sure.” Ben chuckled as he ducked out of the car. Rey frowned at him as she got out of the passenger side, causing an adorable little crinkle to appear between her eyebrows.

“What?” She eyed him apprehensively. Ben loved it when he managed to get under her skin. He began striding towards the diner, unable to keep from grinning when he heard Rey run to keep up with him. He got to the door and held it open for her.

“I know why you’re so stubborn about this - you’ve never had great sex.” He murmured into her ear as she passed him, and tried not to take too much delight in the scandalised expression on her face. A hostess made her way over to them. “Two, please.” The hostess nodded and led them further into the diner.

“I have.” Rey grumbled.

“I don’t think so.” Ben followed after the hostess, fighting to stop a smile from appearing on his face.

“I’ll have you know I’ve had lots of good sex!” Rey snapped a little too loudly, capturing the attention of the hostess and nearby customers. She pursed her lips and slid into the booth, avoiding eye contact with both him and the hostess as she gave them their menus.

“Who with?” He asked. Rey’s eyes snapped up to meet his, her cheeks turning a glorious shade of pink.

“That is really none of your business, Solo.” Just as he suspected - she hadn’t.

“Alright...” he muttered, picking up his menu to have a look. An awkward silence stretched between them. 

“Dopheld Mitaka.” She sighed. Ben cackled in disbelief.

“ _Dopheld_?” Ben chuckled “No, I don’t think so.”

“It’s true!”

“No, no,” Ben tried to contain his laughter enough to continue to make fun of her. “A ‘Dopheld’ can do your taxes, but getting freaky is not what a ‘Dopheld’ is good at. It’s the name, it just doesn’t work.” Rey gaped at him as a waitress approached their table.

“Can I get you anything?” She asked. Ben smiled up at her, oozing the charm he’d (supposedly) inherited from his father.

“Yeah, I’ll have a number six.” The waitress nodded and wrote his order down before turning to Rey.

“I’ll take the cherry pie and ice cream please.”

“Sure thing…”

“But I’d like it heated, with the ice cream on the side, not on the top. Oh! And if you have chocolate ice cream, I’d prefer that to vanilla. If not, then just whipped cream will do - but on the side - and only if it’s real. If it’s from a can, then I’ll just have the pie cold, thank you.” The waitress sighed and left, leaving Ben to stare at Rey in disbelief.

“Wow…” he breathed. Watching her order was a surreal experience. Rey raised an eyebrow at him.

“What’s up?” Ben blinked and cleared his throat.

“So, how come you broke up with Mitaka?”

“That is none of your business.” She snapped. Ben had to force himself not to grin.

“Fair enough.” Rey was silent for a moment.

“He was a very jealous person… and I had these days of the week underpants.” A laugh escaped Ben before he could help it. Rey smiled even though she was blushing.

“I’m sorry - days of the week underpants?” She nodded and giggled.

“Yeah! They had the days of the week written across the butt, and I thought they were kind of funny, then one day he confronted me about Sunday. He kept asking why I never wore ones that said Sunday, and he was getting all angry and suspicious, because he thought I’d left them at some guy’s house. He didn’t believe me when I told him, though.”

“What did you tell him?” Ben leaned forward in his seat. Rey quirked an eyebrow at him.

“That the company didn’t make Sunday.”

“Why not?”

“Because of God.” She replied archly. Ben started laughing so hard tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. Rey grinned at him.

“So he broke up with you?”

“Yes,” she sighed, although she didn’t seem too put out by it.

“How many men have you… _been with_.” Rey scowled at him.

“You’re a pig.” She snapped. Ben nodded.

“That’s fair.” Rey sighed again.

“Two.”

“Then how could you possibly know if you’ve had great sex?”

“Well, what about you? How many people have you _‘been with’_?”Her tone took on a slightly mocking quality, but Ben just shrugged. “How on earth do you not know?”

“It’s somewhere between... ten and one hundred.” Rey scoffed and folded her arms.

“Which one’s it closer to?” Ben chuckled.

“Ten.” He grinned at her. The waitress appeared at the table with their food, effectively ending that conversation. They thanked her, then began to eat in silence. Ben noted that Rey’s pie had come with chocolate ice cream on the side, after all.

*

Jabba’s Motel and Diner  
1977

Rey frowned at the check as she figured out her half of the bill. She glanced up at Ben, only to find him staring at her. Like, really staring at her. She touched her face nervously.

“What is it?”

“You are incredibly beautiful.” He said it so matter-of-factly that Rey couldn’t doubt that he meant it.

“Um, thanks.” She could feel her cheeks heating up.

“Jannah never told me you were pretty.”

“Maybe she doesn’t think so.”

“I don’t think it’s really a matter of opinion so much as it is a statement of a fact.” Rey sighed as she regarded him. She reached into her purse, pulled out some notes and left them on the table.

“Jannah is my friend, Ben.” She pushed away from the table and crossed to the door. Ben hurried after her.

“And?”

“You’re going out with her, so don’t hit on me!” She couldn’t believe she actually had to spell it out for him, but, according to a lot of her friends, boys were notoriously dumb.

“Can a man not tell a woman she’s pretty without trying to hit on her?” Rey fixed him with a fierce glare before she exited the diner. “Alright, let’s pretend I was hitting on you for a sec. What do you want me to do about it? I could take it back.”

“No you can’t, it’s already out there.” There was an awkward beat of silence. “Let’s just pretend it never happened.” Rey unlocked the car and got inside, slamming the door behind her. Ben got into the passenger side.

“Sure, we can do that.” He paused, then grinned at her. “Wanna get a room for the night?”

“Ben.” Rey snapped. Ben just kept grinning.

“See what I did? I agreed to let it go, but then I didn’t.”

“Ben, we are just going to be friends, okay?”

“Right, yeah, just friends.” Rey started the car and pulled out onto the road.

“Yes, just friends.” Ben looked at her for a moment.

“You do realise that we can never be friends, right?” Rey frowned.

“Why not?”

“Because - and I am not hitting on you when I say this - men and women can’t be friends because sex gets in the way.” Rey scoffed at him.

“I don’t know what you do with your female friends, but I have never slept with any of my male friends, and I certainly never plan to.” Ben shrugged.

“That may be the case, but the fact is they want to have sex with you.”

“No they don’t!” Rey squeaked. It was too dark for Ben to see her properly, so her blush went unnoticed.

“Yes, they do.”

“How on earth do you know this?”

“Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive because he always wants to have sex with her, and you are an attractive woman.”

“What about women they aren’t attracted to?”

“Nope, men pretty much want to have sex with anything.”

“And it doesn’t matter if the woman doesn’t want to have sex with them?”

“Nah, the relationship is doomed from the start because the sex thing is already out there.” Rey sighed.

“So… I guess we won’t be friends then.” She couldn’t help the disappointed feeling that settled in her stomach.

“Nope,” Ben agreed. He didn’t seem fussed at the idea.

“That’s too bad, Ben. You’re the only person I know in the City.” The silence between them stretched as far as the horizon.

*

New York City  
1977

The sun began to rise as they reached New York, pulling Ben out of his nap. Both he and Rey gasped as they took their first looks at the city from across the George Washington Bridge. It was gorgeous. Ben could see himself settling in very nicely. They remained quiet as Rey took them downtown and parked on a street near Washington Square. They both got out of the car to unload his things.

“Thanks for the ride,” Ben said as he swung his duffel bag onto his shoulder. Rey nodded.

“You’re welcome. Your company was… interesting.”

“Likewise.” A beat of awkward silence passed between them.

“Well then, good luck with everything.” Rey bounced slightly on the balls of her feet. Ben reached out to shake her hand. 

“You too, Rey.” They nodded at each other. Ben turned away from her and began to walk across the square. He was to willfully resist the urge to look back at her, though something inside him screamed for him to do so. He kept walking. It was unlikely he’d ever see her again, anyway.

*

LaGuardia Airport  
1982

The airport was bustling with people, but Rey barely noticed them as she wrapped herself around her boyfriend. She smiled into their kiss as his hands drifted southward from her waist and pulled her tighter to him. It hit her, suddenly, how much she was going to miss him while she was gone, even though they’d only been together for a month. 

After a moment, she could feel someone staring at them. She groaned and pulled away, alerting her boyfriend to the interruption. He glanced over at the peeper, and it was only then that Rey recognised him. Her stomach dropped.

It was Ben Solo.

“Poe!” At least it wasn’t her he recognised. “I thought it was you.” Poe grinned and clapped Ben on the shoulder.

“Ben, how’s it going, man?” Rey hid her face in Poe’s neck.

“Not bad, not bad. You still working with the DA's office?” Poe chuckled and shook his head.

“Nah, I changed sides a while back. What are you doing these days?” Rey prayed internally that they would wrap this conversation up, shocked that Ben hadn’t recognised her by now.

“I’m a consultant for a small firm - nothing major. Who’s your friend?” Poe grinned down at her.

“This is Rey. Rey, this is Ben - we used to live in the same building.” Rey smiled and nodded at Ben. The man squinted at her, clearly trying to place her.

“Nice to meet you,” he reached out and shook Poe’s hand. “Well, I gotta get going, but it was great to see you, Poe. Hopefully I’ll see you around sometime.” Poe nodded and returned the sentiment, then Ben was on his way. Rey looked up at her boyfriend.

“Thank goodness he didn’t recognise me - we drove from Chicago to New York together five years ago and it was the single worst experience of my life.”

“How come?” Poe frowned - he’d never known Ben to be anything but pleasant.

“At the time, he was going out with one of my girlfriends, but he came onto me, and when I said no he started acting like an ass.” Rey shook her head in disgust at the memory.

“What did you say to him, after he came onto you?”

“Oh, I just told him we could only be friends, but then he started going on about how men and women can’t be friends, according to his very strange logic. Do you think he’s right?”

“Nah,” Poe mumbled, pressing a light kiss to her lips. Rey smiled up at him.

“Do you have any female friends?” Poe paused to think, then shook his head.

“If this is important to you, I will go right out and get some.” Rey giggled and leaned in to kiss his jaw. Poe grinned down at her and pulled her up for a proper kiss.

“I’ll really miss you, Rey…” he paused, blushing slightly, “I love you.” Rey’s face split into a bright smile.

“Really?” Poe nodded, his own smile forming. “I love you, too!” They kissed once more, then Rey had to go for her flight. Poe’s words kept her smiling the whole way to her seat.

*

Somewhere Between New York City and Washington D.C.  
1982

Ben spent every moment since walking away from Poe thinking about the girl he was with. He’d definitely seen her somewhere, but that somewhere escaped him. She was pretty, though. Very pretty. Her shiny brunette hair had framed her face in a sleek straight hairstyle - he was pretty sure he’d heard his fiancée call it a ‘lob’, whatever that meant. And her eyes, they were the most dazzling shade of hazel he’d ever seen. Her freckles were cute, too. Ben shook his head. These were not the kind of thoughts an affianced man ought to be having.

It was just his luck she was in the row in front of him on his flight. She didn’t notice him, though, she was busy gazing off into the distance with a smile on her face for the majority of their flight. Ben leaned over the top of the seats slightly to get a better look at her. She had turned her attention to the copy of the _New York Times_ that she had with her, so she remained unaware of his presence. The man in the seat next to her noticed, though, so Ben sat back down. He still couldn’t place her. The man looked away, so Ben popped up again. Still nothing. He sank back down.

“Do you have any Bloody Mary mix?” Ben heard her ask the stewardess, who was coming down the aisle with the drinks cart. “Okay, I’ll have a little bit of ice, then regular tomato juice filled about three quarters, then just a splash of Bloody Mary mix. And a piece of lime, but on the side.” Ben shot up from his seat. He remembered her now.

“You went to the University of Chicago, didn’t you?” Rey froze as she was accepting her drink, then turned to face him.

“Uh huh,” she replied, raising an eyebrow at him. Ben looked at her properly for the first time that day.

“I remember, you had a Farrah Fawcett thing going on with your hair. Were you this pretty back then?” Rey scowled and rolled her eyes.

“No.” She snapped. Ben grinned at her.

“Did we, y’know?” He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. The man in the aisle seat looked taken aback, but Rey just snorted.

“You wish,” she turned to face the man next to her, “we drove from Chicago to New York together right after graduation.” The man began rising from his seat, offering it up to him. He took it despite Rey’s protests, grinning at her as he slid into the seat. 

“You were friends with -” he paused, thinking. _Oh crap_ , he thought, _I don’t remember her name_. Rey seemed to sense this, too.

“Jannah. I can’t believe you don’t remember her name, you two were all over each other.”

“Sure, I remember Jannah,” he didn’t, “what were you going to New York for again?” 

“To become a mechanical engineer.” Rey sighed and pointedly turned back to her newspaper. Ben chose to ignore that.

“So how’d that work out?”

“Quite well.”

“Awesome. And you’ve been with Poe for, what, a month?”

“How on earth did you know that?” Now she was looking at him. He grinned at her again.

“He took you to the airport, and you only ever do that at the beginning of a relationship, which is why I never take someone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.” Ben was oddly happy to see the crinkle between Rey’s eyebrows appear. He knew he was truly getting under her skin now, but he didn’t know why he took so much delight in it.

“Dare I ask?”

“I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because eventually you fall out of love, and if anyone asked me why I never take them to the airport anymore, I’d know I’d hit rock bottom.” Rey regarded him for a moment.

“It’s crazy,” she breathed, “when I look at you, you seem so normal, but then you open your mouth and I remember that you’re a sociopath.” Ben chuckled.

“So, you gonna marry him?”

“It’s only been a month, Ben. And anyway, neither of us want to get married.”

“Huh,” Ben was actually surprised by that, having assumed she would be the type of girl that dreamed of marriage. “I’m getting married.”

“Really?” She seemed shocked, though he didn’t know why.

“Yeah.”

“ _You? You’re_ getting married? To who?” Again with the shock.

“Bazine Netal, she’s a lawyer.” Rey shook her head and started giggling.

“Why are you laughing?”

“It’s just so out of character for you.” She replied between giggles.

“Well, I fell in love.” That was the only explanation he could think to give. It was true, though. Falling in love would change anyone.

“I’m just impressed you’re doing something so happy.”

“I got to the point where I was tired of being single, y’know? You meet someone, go to lunch, then dinner, then dancing. Then you go back to her place, do some stuff, then wonder how long you have to stay with her until you can go home.”

“There is no way that’s true.”

“All men think it. The problem is, though, women like to be held all night.”

“No, the problem is that men are pigs.” The stewardess announced that they were preparing to land, effectively cutting off anything Ben was about to reply with. Rey fastened her seatbelt angrily and turned back to her newspaper. Ben sank into his seat and closed his eyes.

*

Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport  
1982

As soon as they disembarked in D.C., Rey put as much distance between herself and Ben Solo as she possibly could. How he could stand to be such an unpleasant person, she couldn’t figure out. Every conversation they had seemed to end in her feeling angry and somewhat offended, and him seeming calm and cocksure. Rey sighed and looked down at her paper as she travelled along the hallway on the moving sidewalk, determined to get him out of her head. Naturally, this is when he chose to appear at her side.

“Are you staying in D.C. tonight?” He asked, peeking over her shoulder at the article she was reading.

“Yes,” she mumbled, not looking at him.

“Want to get dinner?” Rey’s head snapped up. There was no way in hell he was hitting on her now, not while he’s engaged, right? Something must have shown on her face, because he continued hurriedly. “As friends, I mean.”

“According to you, men and women can’t be friends.” Ben looked puzzled.

“When did I say that?”

“When we were at the diner on our way to New York.”

“Oh yeah…” Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, turns out there’s an amendment to this rule - if the aforementioned man and woman are each seeing other people, they can be friends, because the pressure of a possible future romantic entanglement is gone.”

“Uh huh…” Rey really hated talking to him.

“No, y’know what, that wouldn’t work either, because eventually one or both of us would break up with our partners because they’d get jealous of the friendship, then we’d be back at square one - then where would we go from there?”

“Bye, Ben.” Rey sighed and pulled the handle from her suitcase, dragging it along behind her as she walked away from him. A glance to her left let her know he was following her. Rey stopped and gave him a withering glare.

“Alright, I’ll let you get ahead, then.” Rey nodded and continued walking, thanking God that he didn’t follow her this time. Hopefully she’d never have to speak to the man ever again.

*

New York City  
1987

“So, I went through his pockets -” Rose was talking about her boyfriend once again. At this point, these conversations happened almost daily. Rey took a sip of her wine. “ - and I found this receipt. He just spent two thousand dollars on new furniture!” She cried.

“Okay…” Paige mumbled, slightly confused.

“My point is, I don’t think he’s ever going to leave her!” 

“He’s not, Rose,” Rey muttered, “it’s been two years, do you really think he’s going to leave her now?” Rose sighed dejectedly. Paige ran a reassuring hand up and down her sister’s arm.

“I know, you’re right.” Rey hated seeing Rose hurt herself like this.

“Why don’t you date a single guy? Before I got married, I knew tons of single guys! There must still be some - Rey has someone.” Paige suggested, glancing at Rey. Rey swallowed hard. It was time to tell them.

“I am a hundred percent sure she got the last good one.” Rose nudged her sister. Rey’s stomach churned. _Just rip the bandaid off, you baby_ , she chastised herself internally.

“Poe and I are no longer together.” _There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?_ Rey couldn’t bring herself to look at her friends’ reactions.

“What? When?” Rose cried.

“Why?” Paige reached out and placed a comforting hand on Rey’s. Rey gave them as calm a smile as she could muster.

“It happened on Saturday -”

“You waited four days to tell us?” Paige gasped.

“- we’d been growing apart for a while, and I decided it was time to end things.”

“Oh, honey, are you okay?” Rose reached across the table and grasped her hand. Rey nodded.

“I’m completely fine, as I said, it’s been on the horizon for a while. I just woke up that day and said to myself ‘you deserve more than this Rey, you’re thirty one now and there’s no use fannying about with your life’.”

“How are you so held together right now? I would be a total mess if I were you.” Paige was in awe of her friend. Rey shrugged casually.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s because I’ve had a few days to get used to it. I feel completely okay with the whole thing.”

“That’s great, Rey. It means you’re ready.” Rose began rifling through her satchel, cheering in triumph when she found what she was looking for. She placed her rolodex on the table in front of her. Paige sighed.

“Are you serious, Rose?”

“Well, how do you suggest I do it?” She began flipping through the cards until she pulled one out. “I have the perfect guy for you.”

“Then you should date him,” Paige muttered.

“I’m already dating someone.” Rose snapped, raising an eyebrow at her sister.

“That someone else is also dating.” Paige snapped right back. Rose rolled her eyes and looked back down at the card.

“Now, I don’t find him particularly attractive, but I think you will.”

“Rose, I’m not ready for you to set me up.”

“I thought you were over Poe already?”

“Well, I am, but out of respect for our dead relationship, I’m in a mourning period.” She took a sip of her wine. “Who is it?”

“Jav Stroda.” Both Rey and Paige started laughing.

“Rose, you set me up with him before I started seeing Poe.” Rose giggled and put the card away. She pulled out another.

“Snap Wexley?”

“He’s been married for a year and a half,” Paige informed them. Rey hadn’t known that - and apparently, neither had Rose.

“Married… huh,” Rose mumbled, dog-earing his card before putting it back in its place. “To who?”

“Jessika Pava.” Paige eyes her sister suspiciously. Rey thought their match made sense, and, even if Rose wanted to, she couldn’t break them up.

“Wait, I have it this time -” Rose squealed, but Rey cut her off with a firm shake of her head.

“No, no. It doesn’t matter who I meet right now - even if he’s my soulmate or whatever, it wouldn’t matter because of the timing. Right now he wouldn’t be anything other than my transitional man, and I really couldn’t do that to my soulmate.”

“Did you hear the story about that guy - I’ve forgotten his name - anyway, his wife ran off with someone else, and everyone decided to give him space, y’know, not to make a pass at him too quickly? Then, a few months later, he was dead.”

“Are you implying that I need to find someone immediately in case they’re about to die?”

“No, Rey, I’m trying to tell you that you need to keep looking for Mister Right, because if you don’t find him, someone else will. Then you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your soulmate.” Rey and Paige gaped at Rose. Truthfully, Rey understood what she was saying, but that didn’t make it any less ludicrous. No, she would commit to her mourning period. It was the least such a significant relationship deserved from her.

*

Shea Stadium  
1987

Honestly, the last place Ben wanted to be right now was at a Mets game, but Finn had insisted. It came from a place of worry, he knew, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. But, then again, maybe Finn wouldn’t have bothered him if he hadn’t gone completely off the grid for three days straight.

“So, when did it happen?” Finn asked. Ben sighed dejectedly.

“Tuesday. Bazine came home from work, everything seemed normal, then we sat down for dinner, and over our pasta she says ‘I don’t think I want to be married anymore’, y’know, as if the idea of marriage has suddenly become unappealing and she’s just been casually thinking about it, but it’s nothing to do with me, per se. I just kept my cool, suggested we think about it for a few days instead of barrelling into something that could be a mistake. On Wednesday she comes to me and says she wants to try being seperated, but we can still date each other - as if that’s supposed to be some kind of incentive. I mean, I got married to stop dating - and I don’t want to date my wife, who’s supposed to love me already. Then it occured to me that maybe she doesn’t love me, so I asked.”

“What did she say?”

“She said she wasn’t sure if she ever loved me to begin with.” The crowd jumped up to do a Mexican wave, so Finn and Ben followed halfheartedly.

“Ouch,” Finn winced sympathetically, “that is a hard thing to recover from.”

“Thanks, man,” Ben mumbled.

“What happened after she said that?”

“She said someone in her office is going travelling in Asia or something, and she can sublet their apartment, when the doorbell rings. I’m in shock, right? And her words are still bouncing off the walls at this point.”

“Who was at the door?”

“Movers. So now I’m in shock and I’m suspicious, and I ask ‘when did you call these movers?’ she didn’t answer me - couldn’t even look at me - so I asked the movers - there’s three of them, huge big guys - but they don’t say anything either, so I ask her again. This time she answers me, and says she booked them the previous week. So I ask her why she waited a week to tell me, and she says she didn’t want to spoil our anniversary.” Another wave passed through the crowd.

“So the movers knew you were getting dumped before you did?” Finn muttered disbelievingly.

“Uh huh.” 

“Shit…” Ben pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before continuing.

“Finn, that’s not even the worst part.”

“What could possibly be worse than that?” 

“Everything she’s told me is a lie. She’s found someone else and she’s moved in with him.”

“Should I even ask how you know that?”

“I followed her home. I saw.”

“Dude…” Finn shook his head.

“I know, it’s sad.” Ben ran a hand through his hair. “Y’know, the entire time I was with her, I knew that one day she’d turn around and stomp all over my heart.” Another wave. Ben really wasn’t in the mood for this.

“At least you got the apartment?” Finn offered weakly. Ben sighed. This whole process was going to last forever.

*

New Republic Books  
1987

Rey and Rose had made book shopping a weekly tradition. Paige used to come, but since she’d gotten married and had kids, she couldn’t always make it to things like this. They understood, though. After all, it was just a part of life. The pair were currently browsing the ‘Personal Relationships’ section, while talking, yet again, about Rose’s boyfriend. Rey picked up a copy of _‘Safe Sex in Dangerous Times’_ and started reading the back.

“I saw his AmEx bill.” Rose whispered. Rey’s head snapped up.

“What?” Rey was utterly stunned.Rose shrugged meekly.

“He just spent two hundred dollars on a dress for his wife. I don’t think he’s ever gonna leave her.”

“Nobody thinks he’s going to leave her,” Rey responded automatically.

“I know, you’re absolutely right.” Rose started looking through the books, picking up a copy of one, aptly titled _‘Smart Women, Foolish Choices’_. She slid over to Rey’s side quietly. “There’s someone looking at you over in the Sci-Fi section.” Rey looked up, then over to the Sci-Fi section of the store. She groaned quietly. It was Ben Solo.

“I know him,” she sighed, “you might like him, though. He has a wife.”

“Who is he?”

“Ben Solo. He’s a political consultant.”

“He’s good looking,” Rose murmured. Rey raised an eyebrow at her.

“You think so?”

“You don’t? How do you know he’s married?”

“He told me six years ago, when I last saw him.” Rey turned back to her book, hoping that that would be the end of it.

“They could’ve split up since then. It’s highly likely, statistically speaking.” Rose said thoughtfully. Rey sighed.

“Also he’s a pig, and he never remembers me.” Rose nudged her, making her look up. Ben was making his way over. Rey prayed he was just looking for a copy of _‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’_ or something.

“Rey?” He asked. So, he remembered her, then.

“Hi Ben,” Rey kept her voice as even as possible.

“How are you?” He rocked back on his heels awkwardly.

“I’m good, this is Rose -” she glanced to her left, but Rose was already leaving the store and waving goodbye. Rey rolled her eyes and turned back to Ben.

“How’s Poe?” She knew he was just trying to be polite, but the mention of Poe immediately made her want to run away. She cleared her throat.

“Um, I think he’s alright. We just broke up the other day, so…” Rey trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say. Ben’s face fell.

“God, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it… what about you? How’s your wife?”

“She is currently filing for a divorce.” Rey winced. This conversation could not have gone any worse.

“Sorry, Ben. When did this happen?”

“Couple weeks ago.”

“Same with me and Poe. Everyone in New York breaks up at this time of year, anyway.” Rey shrugged.

“Holiday pressure, probably.” Ben agreed with a nod.

“Do you want to grab a coffee and… talk about it?” She offered. Initially, she hadn’t wanted to, but he looked in need of a vent, and honestly, she needed one too. Ben accepted her offer, so she took him to a cute little café around the corner that she and Rose liked to go to. She ordered a camomile tea, while Ben got a black coffee. Rey insisted on paying.

“You first.” Ben prompted once they’d sat down. Rey pursed her lips, trying to think of where to begin.

“Alright… at the beginning, Poe and I wanted all the same things. We wanted to live together, but not get married, because all the married people we knew basically became inexplicably unhappy with their lives and never had sex again. I mean, my friend Paige is married and has two kids, and always talks about how she and her husband don’t do it anymore - she doesn’t even complain! It’s just like she’s accepted that that part of her life ended as soon as she settled down. Poe and I would always talk about how we were so lucky to have the kind of relationship that we did - we could have sex on any surface in the house and not worry that someone would catch us, or we could go on spontaneous holidays without any added stress. Then, one day, I was taking Paige’s kids to the zoo, because I promised them I would, and we were playing I spy. Paige’s little girl, Daisy, saw a man, a woman and a child together and said ‘I spy a family’ and before I knew it, I was sobbing my eyes out. So I went home to Poe that night and said ‘you know, honey, we never do go on spontaneous holidays, or have sex outside of the bedroom’.” Rey paused to take a long sip of tea.

“What did he say to that?” 

“Well, we talked for hours about what I wanted, then about what he wanted. We pretty much realised we wanted entirely different things and there was no compromising, so he left. And the funny thing is, I am completely okay with it all. I’m totally over him, and the more I think about it, the more I’m sure we did the right thing by calling it quits.”

“That’s… scarily healthy.” Ben sipped his coffee. Rey wasn’t totally convinced that she wasn’t just repressing her true feelings, but she agreed with him anyway. She sat back and let Ben tell her about his break up with Bazine as they finished their drinks.

It was dusk by the time they left the café. They made their way down 77th street shoulder to shoulder in companionable silence. After talking through her issues to someone with a sympathetic ear, Rey felt almost unburdened. She could only hope Ben felt the same way. The silence that had settled between them was heavy with the weight of their previous conversation, but wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Still, Rey felt the need to lighten the mood.

“Luckily, I got the apartment.” Ben snorted and looked at her.

“People keep saying that to me too, like it’s hard to find a place in New York. Though I am glad I didn’t have to pack all my books, I have too many.” 

“There’s no such thing as too many books,” Rey smiled up at him. Ben studied her for a moment.

“Y’know, I didn’t like you that much when I first met you, but you’re less uptight than you were back then.” Ben spoke like this was some great compliment, but Rey was instantly offended.

“I hate it when men say things like that, you act like you’re complimenting me, but it’s actually a huge insult! And it was me who didn’t like you.”

“Right, sure.”

“I rejected you, and instead of realising it might have something to do with you, you decided it was a character flaw of mine!” Ben had the decency to look sheepish.

“I don’t suppose it’s too late to apologise?” A small smile appeared on Rey’s face.

“Apology accepted.”

“And only ten years overdue. A personal best, I think.” They both laughed for a moment, each of them taking a second to realise they actually enjoyed each other's company. Rey looked at Ben. He was good looking - that much had always been obvious - but now he wasn’t acting like a total ass, he’d started to become… attractive. Rey almost shuddered at the thought, but then realised it wasn’t exactly a bad thing. Maybe she should just ask him out, he’d make a good transitional person, if nothing else. She decided to just go for it.

“Do you want to grab dinner sometime? With me, I mean.” Ben froze for a moment, taken by surprise. Rey began to feel embarrassment heat in her cheeks as he considered her offer.

“Have we become friends?” Rey’s stomach dropped. Oh.

“Well… y-yeah I guess we have.” It was probably better that way anyway, she figured.

“A woman friend…” Ben breathed, baffled at the new development in his life. “You may just be the first beautiful woman I haven’t wanted to have sex with at all. _Ever_.” Rey wasn’t going to pretend that one didn’t hurt. They continued walking down 77th.

“Wonderful.”

*

Millenium Falcon Mechanical Engineering  
1987

Words flowed fast and free as Rey’s fingers flew over the keyboard of her computer. She was replying to various inquiries and bookings from clients; the activity itself took very little brain power, so she was left with her mind wandering onto other things. Mentally, she composed a list of groceries she needed to get, and she had a tap class to get to that evening.#

Ever since she’d split with Poe, she’d been trying to find new ways to fill her time, and had been at least semi-successful in the endeavour. She was, at the very least, tiring herself out enough to sleep at night. Sleeping without someone next to her was weird, but nice. Sometimes she would starfish in her bed at night just because she could. Sometimes, she could curl up on her half of the bed and pretend that Poe would be there when she opened her eyes in the morning.

Rey’s fingers stilled at the thought. Of course she missed Poe, he’d been her partner for six years, and she’d only been without him for a short time now, but she was getting dangerously close to dwelling on the lonliness. It was times like these where there was only one thing to do:

Completely revamp your life.

Nodding to herself, Rey pulled a notepad out of her desk drawer and began writing a list of things she could do, from eating healthier to getting a cat. She thought about it, then scribbled out her cat idea. It was just a slippery slope from there to twelve cats and inescapable spinsterhood.

*

Kenobi & Skywalker Consulting Offices  
1987

Ben stared at the drinking bird on his desk as it bobbed up and down into a glass of water. He’d been staring at it for half an hour now. Since Bazine had left him, it had become so much harder to do things. His work was no longer interesting, and things he used to find joy in now held no attraction. He was getting sick. That was the only possible explanation for how he was feeling.

Rey’s smile flashed through his memory for the thousandth time. Ben found himself thinking about her whenever he let his mind wander. They’d been for dinner a couple nights before - nothing fancy, just a cute little restaurant between her place and his - and it had been surprisingly good. He’d made her laugh. A lot. In fact, he went out of his way to try to make her laugh. It lit up her entire being in the most fascinating way. The evening was like an ideal first date - they talked, they laughed, and they didn’t need to play any games - but without any of the first date pressure.

He wanted to see her again. That was new. Before Bazine, it was rare that he wanted to see a woman again. Although, he supposed, he wasn’t dating Rey. Yeah, he was definitely getting sick.

It was another couple of hours before his uncle popped into his office for a chat. They mostly made uncomfortable small talk. Four and a half years of getting reacquainted with each other and they still couldn’t figure out how to move past comments about the weather, work and whatever his parents had been up to lately. Leia swore it would get easier over time. At this point, Ben didn’t think she was right. She was determined, though. Ben checked his watch to see how long he had left until he could leave. Maybe he could see Rey later.

He was definitely coming down with something.

*

Rey’s Apartment  
1987

Casablanca provided background noise for Rey’s otherwise quiet evening. She’d seen the movie so many times that she didn’t even need to look at it to know what was happening at this point. Not that the numerous reruns she’d watched had taken away the magic, anyway. The phone on her bedside table started ringing. Rey sighed and picked it up.

“Hello?” A yawn escaped her involuntarily.

“Were you sleeping?” Ben’s husky voice brought a smile to her face. She curled a finger into the cord and pressed the phone closer to her.

“No, just watching Casablanca.” She heard a little chuckle on the other end of the call.

“On TV?” 

“Yeah, channel eleven.”

“Thanks,” they paused and took a moment to watch the movie. “Are you telling me that you’d rather be with Henreid than Bogart?” Rey scoffed and scrunched her nose up.

“When on Earth did I say that?” She squeaked.

“On the journey from Chicago.”

“I would _never_ say that! Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to be with Humphrey Bogart?” Rey argued, ignoring the sinking feeling of knowing she was wrong. Ben was silent on the other end of the call, but she knew he was judging her. After a moment, he sighed. “Have you been able to sleep lately?”

“Not really. I think I’m coming down with something; last night I was awake at five am watching reruns of the Dick Van Dyke Show. I don’t even like Dick Van Dyke.” He sighed again. “I’m not well.”

“I went to bed at eight last night. I haven’t done that since I was thirteen.”

“I suppose the upside to depression is getting a decent night’s sleep.”

“I am not depressed, Ben.” She scoffed.

“Sure,” he sighed again. “Do you still sleep on one side of the bed?”

“I did for a while, but now I use the whole thing.”

“Damn. I don’t, I feel weird if I even slightly go over to the other half of mine. I miss Bazine. Do you miss Poe?” Rey’s finger stilled in the cord.

“Nope, not even a little bit.” She replied firmly. Ben paused at the other end of the line.

“Really?” 

“I think I miss the idea of him more than I actually miss _him_ , you know?” Ben was silent for a moment.

“I wish I just missed the idea of Bazine.” Rey’s heart broke for him, it really did, but sometimes he made her question if she was unfeeling or incredibly healthy. It occurred to her, occasionally, that she ought to miss Poe more than she did. They’d been together for six years, and she hadn’t cried about it since the night they’d ended things. 

“Oh, last scene!” Rey snuggled further down in her bed.

“Ingrid Bergman is gorgeous in this movie.”

“Yeah, she really is.” If she closed her eyes, she could almost see his smile. The two fell into companionable silence until Humphrey Bogart said _‘Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.’_

“Best last line of any movie, ever.” He sighed. “Yeah I’m definitely coming down with something.” Rey snorted as she shut off her television.

“Go to the hospital, then.”

“And pay some quack doctor to tell me I’m fine? No thanks.” Rey rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to sleep now, will you be okay?”

“Me? I’m fine. Good night, Rey.”

“Will you be able to sleep?”

“Should do. If not, I’ll just stay up and moan.”

“Nothing new there, then.” She teased, giggling at his over dramatic gasp. “Night, Ben,” she smiled and hung up, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand. Sleep came easily after talking to him.

*

Ben’s Apartment  
1987

It didn’t come as a surprise to anyone when Ben announced he was moving. As far as his friends were concerned, it was a long time coming, and he should have done it as soon as Baz left him. Staying in the apartment hadn’t made it easy for him to move on. His new apartment was slightly smaller than his last one (not small, though, at this point in his life he needed the space) and was situated in a nicer neighbourhood. He tried not to dwell too long on the fact it was nearer Rey’s.

“Which wall do you want these pictures on?” Rey poked her head into the kitchen from the living room. Yesterday, Finn and Hux had helped him move all his furniture; today, Rey was helping him decorate. Ben was only slightly terrified of her wielding a hammer and some nails, given her propensity for clumsiness.

“Uh, to the left of the windows, I guess.” She nodded, accidentally smacking her head off the doorframe in the process. Ben flinched as she cursed like a sailor, but ultimately stepped in to take the dangerous objects from her hands. “Maybe I’ll do it. You’re a walking disaster, so you’ll probably end up impaling yourself.” Rey flipped him off with one hand and cradled her head in the other.

When he’d been with Bazine, most of the photos on the walls were of them. There were a few of friends and family, of course, but they’d wanted to showcase happy memories that were just theirs. He had since burned all those photos. He’d printed new ones, though, of his friends on their many nights out in the past, and various ones of his family and extended family from throughout his childhood. There weren’t any of Rey. It had never occurred to him that maybe they should take a picture together, but he didn’t know how to ask without being awkward, and he didn’t want to introduce her to anyone else in his life so that they could take some because that would mean sharing her which would literally be the worst thing in the universe. He paused at the thought.  
No time to unpack all of that, anyway.

“Do you wanna go get something to eat?” Rey had poked her head through the door again. As if on queue, Ben’s stomach rumbled loudly. He nodded and tossed Rey her coat.

*

Central Park  
1987

“I’ve pretty much had the same one since I was, like, fourteen or something.” Rey held her pretzel out to him absentmindedly. He broke a piece off and grinned at her. They were walking through the park, wrapped up against the chill, but nonetheless enamoured by the beautiful fall colours painting the trees. Fall was Rey’s favourite season.

“What happens in it?” Rey flushed and looked at the ground, unable to look him in the eye.

“No, it’s too embarrassing.”

“C’mon,” he nudged her playfully. She sighed and looked up at him, determined.

“Alright. So there’s a guy, and he -”

“Wait,” Ben interrupted, “what does he look like?” Rey considered his question for a moment, then shrugged.

“I don’t know, exactly… his features are kind of blurry.”

“Continue.”

“Well, we make out for a while in the middle of my room.”

“And then?”

“Then he pushes me onto my bed and gets on top of me.”

“Then what?”

“It ends.” She nodded in finality.

“Let me get this straight - the sex dream you’ve been having since you were a teenager is just you making out with a guy then lying on your bed?”

“Sometimes it’s the couch.” Ben blinked at her. Rey felt her neck start to heat up under his scrutiny. She knew it was weird, but she hadn’t had the dream at all when she’d been with Poe - for all his faults, the man knew exactly what he was doing in the bedroom - and she hadn’t had it since she’d left him because, while she didn’t miss him, she didn’t feel ready to sleep with somebody else. It had been almost seven years since she’d had the dream. “Tell me yours, then.”

“I - like most functional people - don’t have a recurring sex dream, so I’ll just tell you my most recent one.” Rey nodded encouragingly. “I’m with this gorgeous woman - I mean she’s the real deal. She’s a brunette with soft, skin that’s tanned and freckled, and legs that go on for days, and -”

“Just get to the main event, please.” She raised an eyebrow at him. Ben grinned and tucked his hands into his pockets.

“Alright, so we’re doing it in front of the Olympic judges.” Rey choked on her pretzel slightly in shock. “I get a perfect ten from the first judge, a nine-point-eight from the second, then the third judge is my mom, and she gives me a four. Do you think I should see a shrink?” Rey patted his arm.

“I don’t think you want me to answer that.”

*

The Metropolitan Museum  
1987

The two of them walked shoulder-to-shoulder through the museum, talking in the exhibits with equal parts of curiosity and mockery. Ben couldn’t help but wonder why it had taken them this long to like each other, given how well they got along now. It had only been a few months, but he genuinely felt like he’d never spent a day without her his entire life. He’d never admit it to anyone - not Rey and certainly not Finn - but he was already close to considering her his best friend.

“Did you prefer Greek mythology or Egyptian mythology when you were a kid? I mean, both are cool, but I preferred Greek.” Rey interrupted his train of thought as she studied a collection of Egyptian artefacts in their display case.

“You read mythology as a kid?” He grinned and raised an eyebrow at her. “I always knew you were a nerd.” Rey scoffed and punched his arm.

“I read a lot because of my terrible home life, you jerk.” Her words lacked any malice, but they still made Ben’s stomach twist into sickening knots. Anything to do with her childhood made him feel a confusing mix of sadness and rage.

“Well, my mother and uncle encouraged me to read classics when I grew up, and my dad encouraged me to read mysteries, so naturally I rejected both and read any comic book I could get my hands on. No mythology for me, though I did learn Latin in school, so I guess I’ll say Roman.”

“You’d say that just to be difficult, anyway.”

“I think we need to see each other less, you know me too well now, so trying to annoy you has become less satisfying.”

“Save yourself the trouble and stop trying to annoy me.”

“What a ridiculous idea.” Rey giggled and shoved him lightly. “Do you want to catch a movie later? I think Lethal Weapon is still on in the multiplex.” Rey froze and looked away guiltily.

“Um, I - I can’t. Sorry, Ben. Raincheck?” She stuttered, still looking at anything but him. Ben nudged her teasingly to diffuse some of the tension.

“Oooh, hot date?” He grinned at her, hoping to see her smile back at him. There was no way she was ready to date yet. She would have told him. He started to doubt that when she blushed and wrapped her arms around her middle.  
“Yeah, kinda.” Ben tried to ignore the hollowness in his chest when Rey finally looked at him. He smiled at her reassuringly.

“Really? That’s great, Rey.” He tried his best to mean it.

“I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t... I felt strange about it. We’ve been so close lately, and I-” Rey’s nose wrinkled at her own awkwardness.

“Rey, we’re friends,” Ben placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “I’m happy for you.” Rey sagged slightly with relief.

“Thanks.”

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Ben gestured to the blazer and jeans combo she had on for their outing. She glanced down self consciously.

“Do I not look good?” She seemed almost panicked, so Ben hurried to calm her down.

“No! No, you look great, I just think you should wear dresses more. You look good in dresses.”

“I do?”

“You really do.” The two looked at each other for a moment. Ben hadn’t really noticed how many freckles she had before. She really was very beautiful.

“I think you should start dating again, Ben.” Ben blinked as he registered what she’d said.

“I don’t think so, I’m not ready yet.”

“You’ll never feel ready, but you need to get back out there anyway.” Ben considered this for a minute, before finally nodding.

“Alright, then. Maybe I will. But you have to give me the full name of the guy you’re going out with so I can run a background check on him.” Rey shoved him again.

“You’re not a cop, Ben.” She laughed.

“I know some people.” He grinned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m the only person you know.” Ben tipped his head back and laughed, but didn’t argue. They continued walking around the museum until they - or, more accurately, _Rey_ \- got hungry. If there was one thing Ben knew he could always count on, it was Rey getting hungry.

*

Ben’s Apartment  
1987

Rey and Ben lay on the floor of his apartment, starfishing with their heads next to each other. To see him, all Rey had to do was look to her right. Ben was telling her about the disaster his first date after Bazine had been, and she was trying very hard not to laugh at him. Apparently, the woman hadn’t laughed at any of his jokes - personally, Rey thought this was impossible, because he was the funniest person she knew - and reminded him so much of his ex-wife that he’d had a panic attack in the middle of the restaurant. Rey stopped giggling after he told her that.

“It’s a long process to get back into the swing of life as a single person, especially when it comes to dating. Maybe it’s tough now, but it’ll get better. Might take us some time to actually enjoy ourselves, then it might take even longer to be able to sleep with someone else. We just have to be patient and persevere.” Next to her, Ben chuckled.

“I did sleep with her.” He sounded pleased with himself. Rey’s chest tightened uncomfortably.

“Oh,” she wasn’t sure why it hurt so much.

“I recorded Cover Girl if you wanna revisit how you were wrong about Rusty and Danny just like you were with Ilsa and Rick in Casablanca.” Ben sat up and grinned down at her. 

“I’ll admit to the Casablanca thing, but I am _not_ wrong about Cover Girl. And for the last time, I don’t think she should’ve married that other guy, I just think that Danny is an ass and she should put her career in front of a guy who doesn’t want her to progress with her dream job.” Rey scoffed and hauled herself up. 

“Alright,” Ben stood and flopped onto one of his couches, “let’s find out then.” Rey grinned and curled up next to him, excited to prove the idiot wrong.

*

Batting Cages, Queens  
1987

Going to the batting cages was one of Ben and Finn’s favourite pastimes. For Ben, the appeal of hitting things as hard as he could was a great form of catharsis. And today, he needed to cathart his ass off. It was good, until he made the fatal error of bringing Rey up.

“I just don’t understand - you think she’s hot, right?”

“She’s pretty much the most attractive woman I’ve ever met.” Ben replied as he swung as hard as he could, sending a ball flying.

“And you like her personality?”

“Rey is the best. Much more fun than you.” Finn chose to ignore this jab.

“But you’re _not_ sleeping with her?”

“Nope.” Ben punctuated his reply by batting another ball. Finn snorted in disbelief.

“Why not? She’s single, you’re single. She’s hot, you’re… passable -”

“- thanks, man -”

“- so what is it? Is it because you’re afraid of rejection after what Bazine did to you, because let me tell ya, Solo, from what you’ve told me about this girl, she doesn’t seem like the type. She sounds like the anti-Bazine, if you will.” Ben raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“Thank you, my Catholic friend.” Finn chuckled as he swung his bat. “Look, man, there’s nothing to _‘get’_ about me and Rey. This is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a woman; I’ve never been able to be friends with a woman before. Consider it personal growth.”

“Right…” Finn still seemed skeptical.

“I can tell her anything, it’s great.”

“Do you tell her things you don’t tell me?”

“No, I pretty much tell you both the same things, but she gives me a female point of view on certain things. It’s refreshing, and actually helps me out when I’m on dates. I kinda know what women want now.”

“Do you talk to her about the women you see?”

“Yes, and she tells me about the guys she sees. I’m telling you man, there’s nothing going on between Rey and me.”

“I still don’t get it.” Ben groaned at his friend. There really was no other way to explain it to him. At least, there was no way to explain it to him that wouldn’t make him any more suspicious about a potential relationship between himself and the woman in question. On some level Ben knew his relationship with Rey was unusual, but he didn’t think it was so unusual that Finn couldn’t wrap his head round it. Sure, people probably saw them from time to time and thought they were a couple, but that was a side effect of living in such a heteronormative society. He could do anything with Finn and people would guess they were friends, then do the exact same things with Rey and people would assume they were a couple just because she was a woman.

Ben didn’t think Finn was hot, though, so maybe that was his issue.

*

Mace’s Place  
1987

At this point in their friendship, Rey was used to ignoring Ben as he watched her organise her food. Currently, she was splitting her too-large sandwich into two smaller sandwiches so it would be easier to eat them, and he wore the same bemused expression that came across his face from the moment she started ordering, despite the fact they were currently bickering about his treatment of his _‘lady friends’_.

“So you sleep with them, then you just up and leave?” Ben nodded, his mouth too full to give her a verbal response. “How do you do that?” Rey took a bite of her - now delicious and sensibly sized - sandwich as he considered his answer.

“I just tell them normal stuff, y’know? Like _‘I have an early meeting’_ or _‘I’m meeting my mom for breakfast’_. Nothing unbelievable.”

“But you never go out with your mum.” 

“That’s true, but they don’t know that.” Ben grinned at her over his lunch. Rey wrinkled her nose in disgust. Men really were pigs.

“That’s horrible, Ben.”

“And I truly feel terrible about it.” Ben couldn’t have pretended to mean it if he’d tried. Rey crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

“It's things like this that make me really glad we never got together ten years ago, Ben. I would have just been another notch on your bedpost that you would have to escape from at five in the morning, leaving me with a vague excuse that wasn’t even true and no hope of ever seeing you again. You’re a pig.” She wasn’t sure exactly where her irritation was coming from, but she knew she was right anyway.

“Rey, this has nothing to do with you? What are you getting all bent out of shape for?”

“Of course it’s about me, Ben! It’s about all women! I’m offended on their behalf.”

“Look, I know it's not exactly great, but nobody’s ever gotten that upset about it.”

“How would you know? You don’t stay long enough to find out.”

“Well, the way I see it, they have some of the best sex of their lives before I leave, so it can’t be that bad.” Ben shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich. Rey scoffed at him.

“Forgive me if I don’t take your word for it.” She muttered, reaching across the table for the jug of water between them. Ben moved the jug out of her reach before she got to it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying, men often have very high opinions of their performance in the bedroom, but there’s no way that all of you could possibly be _‘sex gods’_ , or whatever, because then so many women wouldn’t need to fake orgasm when we sleep with one of you.” She smiled sweetly at him and plucked the jug out of his grasp, filling her glass halfway before putting it back down.

Maybe with other guys, but not with me. I’d be able to tell.” Rey rolled her eyes.

“Ben, all men say that, but most women have faked it at least once in their lives. Its basic math.”

“What kind of math did they teach you in school?” Ben smirked at her, causing her to roll her eyes at him.

“You get my point.”

“It can’t be that easy to fake it, so it’s not possible that _all_ women have faked it and no men noticed.”

“It is so easy to fake. You just make the faces and the noises, and the man believes it. Pay attention the next time you’re in bed with someone, you’ll notice.” Ben frowned at her as she took a triumphant bite out of her sandwich. Rey got the feeling this was something they were going to argue about a lot.

*

96th Street  
1987

Winter in New York caught Ben by surprise every year. He was prepared - in a physical sense - with all the right clothes and tools he might need, but the temperature drop and sudden, thick snowfall always snuck up on him. One day, it was fall and the temperature was mild, but not cold, and the next it was freezing and there was several feet of snow outside his building.

Of course, it had been snowing on and off for several weeks now, so he was used to it. Rey had asked him to help her pick out a Christmas tree, so they’d wrapped up in the thickest clothing they could find and headed out into the cold. There was a Christmas tree stand a few blocks away from her, thankfully, so they didn’t have to walk far to get one. It was taking it back that was a pain in the ass.

Though it did give him ample time to check Rey out as she carried the front of the tree and he carried the back.

Ben shook his head to clear that thought away. He did not want to check out Rey, a.k.a his best friend, a.k.a the only thing keeping him from slipping head first into a major depressive period.

They struggled getting the tree through the door of her apartment, but eventually it was upright in her living room. Apparently, her friends Rose and Paige were coming over to decorate it with Paige’s four year old girl and baby boy, because it had been their tradition ever since they became friends, but childcare was expensive in the City and Paige’s husband had to work.

Ben never asked to meet Rey’s other friends, nor did he offer for her to meet his. It was a line neither of them seemed willing to cross, for reasons unknown to him. It didn’t feel right.

*

Rey’s Apartment  
1987

The sound of Rey’s Christmas CD floated through the air, providing the perfect background noise to their holiday tradition. It had become much more of a feat since they stopped living together, all three of their trees needed decorating which meant it took three days and three times as much alcohol. Of course, for the past few they consumed less alcohol and more often than not they had Daisy. Now they had Daisy and Oli. It was still Rey’s favourite time of year, though. The kids' enthusiasm for Christmas made it a lot more fun.

Currently, they were adding the finishing touches to the tree, and she could see Daisy practically vibrating with excitement over putting the star on top. Rose was just hoisting her niece into the air when Rey bent to pull their final batch of gingerbread cookies out of the oven. Paige busied herself making drinks for everyone - wine for the adults, juice for Daisy. Oli had fallen asleep in his stroller despite the noise his sister was making.

“So how was your date last night?” Paige asked as she placed Rey’s glass in front of her. Rey grimaced. Oh yeah. That.

“It was… an evening.” Across the room, Rose cheered. Rey rolled her eyes and started mixing up some icing for Daisy, who had now appeared at her side ready to get decorating.

“I love hearing about your terrible dates. Who was he and what did he do?” Now Rose was practically vibrating with excitement.

“His name doesn’t matter, that’s how bad it was.” She picked Daisy up and put her into a chair at the kitchen table where she had placed the icing and the cookies that had cooled down. Rose and Paige took their seats and looked at Rey expectantly. 

“So what did he do?” Paige grinned at Rey as she started icing a cookie. Rey took a long sip of her wine before responding.

“He was a dentist, right, which kind of weirded me out anyway, but I decided to let it go because he could be nice. And he was nice, up until he inspected my teeth half way through our main courses. Apparently I don’t floss enough, so we couldn’t have dessert.” Rose and Paige burst into fits of laughter.

“Did you even _want_ to have dessert with him?” Rose wiped tears from under her eyes.

“I did up until he did that, then I was just glad our date would be over earlier and I could take a bath.” Rey began icing her own cookie, writing Ben’s name as neatly as she could in green icing in the centre of it with the professional tools Paige brought. She missed the look her two friends shared.

“Why don’t you date Ben?” Paige ventured, deliberately looking down at the cookie she was icing instead of making eye contact with Rey.

“How many times do we have to go over this? We are just friends, the feelings I have for him are totally platonic, and he’s still not over his ex-wife.”

“But if he was, and you could be something more?” At least Rose had the decency to look her in the eye for this.

“No, Ben’s…” she trailed off, looking for the right word.

“He’s what?” 

“Ben is a walking disaster.” That much was true, but the same could be said about her. In fact, Ben said it very frequently, usually when she’d been clumsy.

“Then why are you making him cookies?” Paige raised an eyebrow at her, finally looking up from her own cookie.

“Because he’s my disaster, and I love him very much - _platonically!_ ” She hated when the Tico sisters got like this, and usually they were right, so Rey was very excited to be able to prove them wrong.

*

The Kenobi & Skywalker Consulting NYE Party  
1987

Rey’s laugh floated over the music of the band as Ben dipped her. He’d been uncertain at best when he’d asked her to go to the party his work was throwing, but they’d been having fun all night so he didn’t regret the decision. He’d yet to introduce her to his parents or his Uncle Luke, even though they were milling about somewhere. Not that he was actively avoiding them, but he wasn’t actively looking for them either. 

They began to dance cheek to cheek as the music slowed down. Ben smiled and shut his eyes for a moment, taking in the contentment he felt at the moment. 

“Thank you for inviting me tonight, Ben. I’m having a really good time.” Rey murmured as she pulled back to look at him properly.

“Thanks for coming, sweetheart.” He didn’t know where the endearment came from, but it felt right. “Next year, if neither of us have dates we can do this again.” Rey nodded in agreement and leaned forward to put her chin on his shoulder. They swayed slowly from side to side, and the flowery scent of Rey’s shampoo filled his nose. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head when he realised.

Maybe his feelings for the woman in his arms weren’t completely totally one hundred percent platonic.

Rey stiffened in his arms. Maybe she felt it too.

He dismissed those thoughts almost as soon as they entered his head.

“Do you want to get some fresh air?” He lowered his mouth to her ear so he didn’t have to raise his voice. Rey nodded, so he let her waist go and took one of her hands to lead her out onto the balcony on the other side of the room. Surprisingly, they were the only ones out there.

“Ben, do you think our friendship is stopping us from being able to find someone?” Rey looked up at him with big, shining eyes that Ben had to force himself not to get lost in. He nodded and thrust his hands into his pockets, turning to face the city.

“Yeah, definitely.” His gaze flicked to hers for a moment, and he sent her a charming grin. “Maybe we should go home and have sex all night, just to see if there’s something there.” Rey’s face fell into an almost imperceptible frown, and her eyes took on a dewy quality that Ben prayed was because of the fairy lights hung around them.

“You don’t mean that,” she leaned on her elbows against the railing, “I know you don’t mean that.” Ben thought she seemed almost… disappointed. Behind them, they could hear the partygoers begin the countdown to the New Year.

_10…_

Their eyes met.

_9…_

There were definitely tears in hers.

_8…_

He reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face.

_7…_

He noticed - not for the first time - how beautiful she was.

_6…_

He wanted to kiss her.

_5…_

Platonically, of course.

_4…_

He caught her eyes drifting down to his lips. 

_3…_

She definitely wanted to kiss him.

_2…_

She took half a step closer to him.

_1…_

This was a bad idea.

He stepped away from her just as the ball dropped, and the action was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown over the top of them. ABBA’s _‘Happy New Year’_ began playing inside. Ben gave Rey what he hoped was an easy smile and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. He ignored the fact it felt extremely underwhelming.

“Happy New Year, Rey.”

“Happy New Year, Ben.”

*

West Broadway  
1988

Rey considered setting Ben and Rose up as a stroke of genius on her part. The pair of them had terrible dating lives, and if they began dating each other, she could see them together all the time. It was a good thing for everyone, and if it didn’t work out, there was no harm done.

“I sent flowers to myself to make him jealous.” Rose interrupted her thoughts. Rey’s brows furrowed.

“Ben?”

“No, my _actual_ boyfriend.”

“Why?”

“To see if he’d care at all, but he didn’t come over today, he forgot a thing he’d agreed to go to with his wife. God, Rey, I felt so stupid - I spent fifty dollars on a ridiculously big arrangement and a card so I could leave it out where he could just happen upon it, and he didn’t even show up.” Rose kicked a stone along the pavement halfheartedly.

“What did the card say?” Rey linked their arms together.

“I wrote _‘I am so in love with you, please say yes. All my love, Ray.’_ ,” she glanced at Rey, “Ray with an A not an E, though I did use you for inspiration.” Rey rubbed Rose’s arm sympathetically.

“I know I give you shit for your relationship, but I am sorry that your plan didn’t work. You deserve someone who appreciates you.”

“Rey, I don’t think he’s ever going to leave her.” Rey raised an eyebrow at her friend.

“He’s not. You know he’s not.”

“I know,” Rose sighed. “How much further do we have to walk?”

“We’re only a couple blocks away now. Chin up, Tico.”

“I cannot believe you talked me into this…”

“You guys are two of my best friends, so if this works out I get to spend twice as much with both of you. And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll finally know that none of my friends have good taste in who they date.”

“Except for Paige.” Rose nodded sagely.

“Except for Paige.” Rey agreed. They arrived at the restaurant before Ben and whichever friend he was bringing, so the girls decided to have a glass of wine at the bar before their meal as they waited for them.

*

West Broadway  
1988

Ben was beginning to regret this whole evening before it had even begun. When Rey had suggested they set each other up, the idea had made him slightly dubious, but he agreed, because if he didn’t, he was sure Finn was going to end up becoming a hermit. Plus, Rey would probably really like Finn, and vice versa. Ben pretended that didn’t make him feel weird.

He wondered what Rey’s friend would be like. It probably wouldn’t be wise not to attempt anything he would do on a regular date, lest he bring Rey’s wrath down on him. It took him a moment to realise Finn was speaking to him.

“ - if she’s so great why don’t _you_ date her?” Of course he was complaining about this. 

“We’re just friends, Finn,” Ben sighed.

“Because you don’t find her attractive.” Finn was looking at him with suspicion. Ben was sick of having this conversation over and over again.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Finn? Rey is a very beautiful woman, I just don’t feel that way about her.”

“You ever wonder why I have a hard time believing that?”

“I just assumed it’s because you’re thick.”

“Funny,” Finn muttered. “The way you get when you talk about her doesn’t exactly scream _platonic_ , Ben.”

“If I wanted to date Rey, I wouldn’t be setting her up with you.”

“Not unless you were in deep, deep denial.” Ben reached out and ruffled Finn’s hair, successfully shutting his friend up about Rey and giving him something else to complain about.  
“The restaurant is just up here. Please be normal.”

*

Maz Kanata’s Cantina Bar and Restaurant  
1988

To say the evening was off to a rocky start would be an understatement. Rey liked Finn once she found out he was a pilot - it had been a dream of hers when she was little - but he seemed to go off her once she told him she’d decided against working with planes and had decided to work with cars instead.

Things didn’t seem to be going any better for Ben and Rose. Rey had tried to ease the tension by bringing up things they had in common, but their conversation still fell flat. Honestly, it was kind of painful to watch. She made eye contact with Ben across the table. 

“What’s everyone getting then?” He smiled at Rey.

“I think I’m going to get the House Salad, with the balsamic dressing -”

“ - on the side.” Rose and Ben finished for her. Rey groaned as her friends laughed at her.

“Finn, just wait until you see how Rey orders her food. It’s like watching a magic trick.” Ben teased her, smirking at her over his menu. Because she was a mature human being, she retaliated by sticking her tongue out at him.

“I don’t understand why people get salads when they go out to eat.” Was all Finn replied with. Rey tensed and raised an eyebrow at Ben. He really thought she’d like this guy? _Really?_

“Rey’s one of those strange people who actually likes salad,” Rose smiled at Finn. “I could go for a mountain of tacos right now.”

“Maz makes the best tacos in the city.” This sparked a long conversation between the pair, leaving Rey and Ben to talk to each other across the table.

Rey figured she should have noticed their chemistry before they left the restaurant.

*

West Broadway  
1988

Finn grabbed Ben’s arm and pulled him ahead of the girls until they were out of earshot. A glance over his shoulder told him that they’d stopped a few metres away, waiting for Rose to tie up her shoes. Suddenly, Finn stopped him.

“Look, man, I’m just going to be straight with you. I like Rose, and I want to call her. Do you want to call her?” Finn looked so serious Ben couldn’t help but laugh. He’d seen this coming about fifteen minutes into their date.

“No, no I don’t. But can you wait a few days or something? Rey probably doesn’t need immediate rejection right now.” Finn nodded.

“Sure, yeah. I wasn’t even thinking about calling her immediately. Thanks, man.” The women joined back up with them, but they had barely taken three steps before Finn announced his intention to get a cab, tugging Rose after him eagerly. Ben groaned internally. Could his Finn have been any less subtle about that?

“I’m sorry, Ben. I told her to wait a couple days before making a move on Finn, but I guess she decided not to listen to me.” Rey seemed genuinely apologetic, so Ben shrugged and put an arm around her.

“Ah, well, it’s whatever. As long as they’re happy.” Rey nodded against his shoulder. “Want to go get a drink?”

“Sure, Andor’s?”

“Where else?” They continued down the sidewalk like that until they got to their bar. It was a small place, one you’d probably miss if you weren’t looking for it, but it had a calm, welcoming vibe inside that kept Ben coming back. Rey had worked in it when she had been in school, which is how she knew of its existence in the first place. They’d been there so much that he was now on a first name basis with the staff, and was often invited around to Cassian and Jyn’s - the owners - for dinner with Rey. It was their spot.  
“I was wondering if you two would make an appearance tonight.” Jyn was behind the bar cleaning a glass. They smiled at her and waved before heading to their booth. A moment later Bodhi, the bartender, placed their usual drinks in front of them - a scotch neat for Ben and a vodka, soda and lime for Rey.

“Hey guys.” 

“Hey Bodhi, how’s it going?” He grinned at them goofily.

“It’s been steady tonight. Invented a new drink if you want to try it.” Rey nodded eagerly. She loved trying all of Rook’s new creations, insisting that they all tasted sublime. Ben figured she was just in it for their alcohol content. They finished their drinks just before closing, but decided to stay and chat with Jyn, Cassian and Bodhi while they cleaned up.

“So what have you been up to these days, mija?” Cassian had always had a soft spot for Rey. When they had met, she reminded him of himself when he was younger, so he had felt a deep kinship with the scrappy young woman who had come to work for him. He felt fiercely protective of her - he still did - but after he’d seen her toss out a man twice her size, he’d figured maybe she could handle herself. When Cassian had told Ben the story, it made him laugh so hard he cried.

“Not much, mostly working. Ben and I tried to set each other up with our friends but totally failed.”

“What happened?”

“Well, they left with each other, which is why we’re here.” Jyn and Cassian laughed at them. “Must pee.” Rey dashed towards the bathroom. Jyn fixed Ben with a look that chilled him to his very core.

“Why haven’t you asked her out, Ben?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Because we are friends, and that is _it_.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Why is that so hard for people to get? Can’t men and women just be friends without the third degree?”

“Yes, they can,” Cassian agreed, causing Ben to relax slightly, “just not ones that are in love with each other.” He groaned and stood, pulling his jacket on.

“You guys are the worst. Rey and I are not in love with each other. Tell her I’m waiting outside. Goodnight.” He marched out of the bar and restrained himself from slamming the door. The next person who so much as suggested there was something more between himself and Rey was going to get punched. They were just friends. That was it. Just. Friends.

*

Empire Appliances and Gifts  
1988

Rose and Finn had been dating for four months, and now they were moving in together. Four months. Rey thought they were insane, but Rose insisted that they were in love, and that it felt right for them. Rose had never been so happy, so Rey relented. Plus, Finn being best friends with Ben paid off in the end, because now the four of them hung out all the time. Now that Finn was not a potential romantic prospect for her, she’d warmed up to him greatly. They got along so well they even had coffee dates once a week, just the two of them. She didn’t know if Rose and Ben had a similar thing going, but she was too afraid to ask.

“Oh man, this is perfect!” Ben was like a kid in a candy shop, trying every toy and gadget he could get his hands on with barely contained glee. Rey just eyed the merchandise with disgust. It was all so weird she couldn’t imagine anyone who could possibly want any of it. She inhaled deeply and turned to face her (idiot) best friend.

“What?”

“Karaoke machine!” He passed her a mic and popped a cassette in, then took the other mic from himself. The opening music to _‘You Are Woman, I Am Man’_ from Funny Girl started playing. Rey rolled her eyes at Ben, but looked over his shoulder at the lyrics anyway. He began singing excitedly despite the fact the whole shop could hear them.“ _You are woman, I am man/ You are smaller, so I can be taller than/ You are softer to the touch/ It's a feeling I like feeling very much/ You are someone/ I’ve admired/ Still our friendship leaves something to be desired/ Does it take more explanation than this?/ You are woman, I am man/ Let's kiss._ ” In no way was he good, but his voice wasn’t entirely unpleasant, and his childlike giddiness about the whole thing was beginning to rub off on her, so she chimed in as a (very off-key) Barbara Streisand.

“ _Isn't this the height of nonchalance?/ Furnishing a bed in restaurants/ Well a bit of dinner never hurt - but guess who is gonna be dessert?/ Do good girls do just what momma says, when momma’s not around?/ It's a feeling... oy vey, what a feeling!_ ” She was getting embarrassingly into this.

“ _A bit of patế?_ ” He nudged Rey, causing her to giggle into her next line.

“ _Ahh… I drink it all day/ Should I do the things he'll tell me to?/ In this pickle, what would Sadie do?/ In my soul I feel an inner_ -” That’s when she noticed Ben looking over the top of her head with a stricken look on his face. “What is it?” 

“It’s Bazine.” Rey gasped and whirled around, making immediate eye contact with probably the most beautiful-yet-terrifying woman she had ever seen in her life. She was holding hands with a tall, dark haired man, who was just as beautiful-yet-terrifying as she was. And they were coming straight for Ben.

“Hi Ben, it’s so good to see you!” Ben looked like he was going to throw up, pass out or both. “How are you?”

“Fine,” he bit out, glaring at the couple thunderously. Bazine smiled a little too toothily.

“This is Archex. Archex, this is Ben and his… friend.” The way she said the word ‘friend’ made Rey tense, but the look she threw Rey’s way had her wanting to fight her. Ben blinked and looked at Rey as if he had forgotten she was even there, not that she could blame him.

“Oh yeah, this is Rey. Rey, this is Bazine Netal.” Rey held out her hand for Bazine to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Bazine.” She made sure to squeeze a little _too_ hard. It must have been successful, because Bazine winced slightly and removed her hand. A long, awkward silence stretched between the four of them.

“Well, we better get going. See you around, Ben. Rey.” The couple walked off without receiving a response from either of them. Rey reached out and pulled Ben into a sideways hug.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” He was as white as a ghost, and Rey wasn’t even sure he was really listening to her. She led him out of the shop in the hopes that fresh air would do him good.

*  
Aunt Breha’s Plant Emporium  
1988

“Are you sure you’re okay?” This was the fifteen hundredth time she’d asked him that.

“Yes, I’m fine,” his voice was barely more than a growl. “It was inevitable that I’d see her again at some point, now it’s happened and I can move on. And I’m fine.” Rey looked him up and down, appraising him for a moment.

“Okay, I’ll drop it for now. We have to get this peace lily to Finn and Rose’s and help them set up their furniture.”

“Right.”

“If you’re not fine, you know you can talk to me, right?” Ben bobbed his head in acknowledgement but didn’t look at her. He knew if he did he’d just end up spewing all his thoughts and feelings to her and he did not want that right now, especially since seeing Bazine had brought up some pretty vulnerable emotions he’d stubbornly refused to feel since the week after she left him.

Rey was probably thinking he was still in love with his ex-wife after that whole display. Of all the ways he’d thought it would go - he’d thought about it a lot - that was never even an option. He’d always pictured himself acting aloof, or maybe yelling at her, or just showing off that his life was amazing (in this scenario he’d gotten crazy rich and had a very attractive woman on his arm), but not turning into a non-functioning, brainless mass of cells. He’d just have to get her next time.

 _Oh God_ , he thought, _there would be a next time._

*

Rose and Finn’s Apartment  
1988

Their new apartment was _stunning_. Other than the fact it was haphazardly filled with clutter from both Rose and Finn, it was the most gorgeous place Rey had ever seen, which was saying something since she had seen Ben’s place and she had thought that was the nicest apartment she’d ever see. The newly moved in couple were bickering - something to do with bookshelf placement - but Rey just ignored them as she took the place in.

“What do you think, Ben?” That got Rey’s attention. Ben had been in a fowl mood since the whole karaoke incident, unsurprisingly, but seemingly their friends hadn’t picked up on it, and he wasn’t exactly the best person to talk to at the moment.

“What do I think?” He seemed almost deranged. Rey’s stomach sank. “I think that all of this is pointless. Y’know, Baz and I did all this, and it was great. We were so stupidly excited about sharing everything for the rest of our lives, but as you can see, it doesn’t work out like that! So do yourselves a favour and write your names on everything you own, it’ll save you lawyers fees when you split up in six years and can’t remember whose it was in the first place!” Ben ran a shaky hand through his hair. Rey smiled apologetically at Rose and Finn as she approached him.

“Ben, I know you’re struggling right now, but don’t take it out on them.” She reached out to touch his shoulder but he flinched away from her.

“I’m just letting them know that this is all fucking pointless!” Ben turned on his heel and stormed out. Rey sighed and turned to her friends.

“He saw Bazine?” Finn was looking to the door Ben had slammed on the way out. Rey nodded.

“I’ll be one moment.” She ran out after Ben. He was pacing on the front stoop, looking so anguished it made Rey want to cry.

“I know I’m an ass, you didn’t have to follow me out here to tell me that.”

“Yes, you are. God, Ben, you need to learn how to control yourself! I know it sucks that you saw Bazine and that she’s happy and you’re not, but this is supposed to be a happy day for our friends, can’t you just let them have it? There’s a time and a place for emotional outbursts.” Ben whirled to face her so fast it startled her.

“Well at least I feel something!” He towered over her, but Rey didn’t move.

“I don’t think you want to say what you’re about to say, Ben.” She warned him. He had that look on his face that he got when he was so angry he wanted to hurt something and didn’t care what it was.

“Oh I definitely do, and it won’t even matter because you don’t feel! Nothing ever upsets you - your parents, your foster father, Poe - nothing! You never cry, you never dwell, the memories don’t resurface from time to time and cause you pain because you are incapable of feeling any real human emotion. Jesus, Rey, you’re like a robot!” Rey’s eyes brimmed with tears but she refused to let them fall.

“I felt those things, Ben! I felt the loss and the heartbreak and the betrayal, but I did so in my own time in my own way so I didn’t ruin a good day for someone else. You weren’t there, so how could you _possibly_ know how I dealt with it? What makes you an expert in how I feel?”

“Oh I know how you coped with the loss of Poe. You had a wine cooler, a tub of ice cream and bought a self help book, then all that heartbreak just _disappeared_.” Ben sneered at her and she finally stepped away from him.  
“You’re an asshole, Ben. When you’re ready to apologise to everyone, I’ll be inside.” Rey turned to walk away but Ben grabbed her arm and turned her back around.

“Prove me wrong, then. How many people have you slept with since you kicked Poe to the curb? There’s got to be at least one if you’ve completely and healthily moved on from him.” Rey gasped and shoved Ben off her as hard as she could.

“You are an absolute pig, Benjamin Solo! The fact I haven’t slept with anyone since Poe is neither here nor there! You’ve slept your way around New York and still had a mental absence when you saw your ex-wife, so don’t tell me that fucking someone is a magic cure-all! The next time I sleep with someone it will be because I love them, not because I’m angry at my ex.” Ben was silent for a long moment.

“I’m sorry, Rey, I don’t know what came over me.” His entire body sagged and he looked… drained. Rey reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. They would be okay.

*

Rose and Finn’s Apartment  
1988

Game night was hell. Actually, any night Ben had to socialise with people other than Rey and Finn was hell. Yes, he loved spending time with them - and Rose by extension - but spending time with their other friends was too much. Paige was nice, he supposed, and her husband was low key which he appreciated, but Rey’s date was getting on his every nerve. His name was Matt Kennard, and he was an editor at the New York Magazine. Apparently, Rey had been seeing each other for a couple months now, and it had been going well enough for her to introduce him to her friends.

He watched with amusement as Rey had her go at charades, miming something that literally none of them could guess no matter how hard they tried. At this point, they were just stringing random words together to watch her become more and more frustrated. Once her time ran out and they’d laughed at her enough, Rey and Rose went to make everyone some drinks.

Ben had pretty much forgotten about his own date until she got up to use the bathroom.

“Tania seems cool.” He knew Finn had pulled him into his office for a reason.

“Yeah she’s great.” A brief pause. “Do you think Matt is a little… uptight?” Finn gave him a knowing look.

“You should actually talk to the guy before you make that sort of judgement. He’s nice.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” He busied himself looking at the books lining the shelf nearest him.

“He took us to a Rangers game a couple weeks ago, it was really fun.”

“A Rangers game? But Rey thinks that the only real sport is rugby so that’s the only one she watches.” Finn shrugged.

“I don’t know what to tell you, man. It seemed like she enjoyed herself.” Ben didn’t know why that annoyed him so much, but he figured that was more to do with the fact that Finn was looking at him like he knew why it annoyed Ben. Still, Ben did not like Matt. For real reasons.

*

Rey’s Apartment  
1988

Typically speaking, receiving mail shouldn’t be the worst part of your day. After the day Rey had just had, she honestly didn’t think it would be the post that sent her over the edge. Naturally, the universe had decided to show her just how wrong she could be.  
He was getting married. And if the invitation wasn’t enough, the asshole had to phone her.

Which is how she found herself sitting in the middle of her living room floor crying her eyes out and eating a full tub of ice cream at 1am.

**

_“Hello?”_

_“It’s me.” Rey felt sick. “Did it come?”_

_“It did. Congratulations, Poe.”_

_“I know this seems kind of sudden, and that I said I didn’t want to get married, but when I met Kaydel four months ago, it just felt… right, you know?”_

_“Sure,” she mumbled._

_“I really love her, in a way I never thought I could love someone before. The entire time we were together, I thought we were in love, but it wasn’t like this. I realise now that we weren’t in love. Do you think we were in love?” Rey covered the mic so he couldn’t hear her cry. Once she had composed herself enough, she spoke._

_“I can’t tell you how you felt, but I really did love you, Poe. I wanted to get married and I wanted to start a family with you, you were the one that didn’t want those things. Did you phone me just to tell me you didn’t actually love me?”  
“Well, no. I phoned to ask you if you’d come. I do miss you, Rey.”_

_“I think you know I can’t go to your wedding, Poe. It wouldn’t just be awkward for me, it would be awkward for you, Kaydel and your entire family. We have to leave our relationship in the past, no matter how we feel now. I’ve moved on too, so let’s leave it like that.”_

_“You’re still the smartest person I’ve ever met.” Rey smiled a little._

_“Bye, Poe. Tell your parents I said hi.” She hung up before he could reply to her._

**

Without thinking, she picked up her phone and dialled the first person that came into her head. She knew he’d be up anyway, no doubt reading the last page of a new book so he knew what happened.

*

Ben’s Apartment  
1988

His phone was ringing. Who the _fuck_ phones people at one in the morning? Nobody he knew. He panicked, briefly, thinking it might be one of his parents calling to say the other had somehow gotten into an accident, but he knew by now the pair would have been asleep for at least four hours. He groaned and answered the phone.

“Hello.” There was a sniffle on the other end.

“Hi,” the caller sobbed down the line.

“Rey?” Honestly, he was surprised he knew who it was. She sobbed an affirmative. “Are you okay? I’m coming over.” He hung up, panic rising in his throat as he threw on the first pair of shoes he could find and threw himself out the door. Later, he’d worry about if he took the time to lock up, but all he could focus on was Rey and getting to her as soon as possible.

Usually, when he walked to her apartment it took ten minutes, but he was sprinting as fast as he could so he figured he could half his time and be with her in about five. By the time he got to her door, he was sweaty and out of breath, but it was worth it when he saw how distraught she was when he let himself in with the spare key she’d given him a few months ago.

She was starfishing on the floor with a tub of low-fat no-cal no-dairy ice cream by her head. The idea of eating that was certainly depressing, but he wasn’t sure that was why she was crying. She lifted her head up and saw him, which for some reason made her cry even harder.

“Rey?”

“He’s getting married!” She wailed, reaching up to flap a piece of paper underneath his nose. Ben took it from her and winced.

“Poe sent you an invitation to his wedding?” Rey’s sobs grew louder. Ben pulled her upright and gave her a tight hug, and buried her face into his neck with a wheeze. They stayed like that until she stopped crying.

“He phoned me, too.” She sniffled and blew her nose with a crumpled up tissue.

“What happened?” Rey stepped out from his arms and shuffled towards her bedroom, letting Ben follow behind her.

“Ever since we broke up I’ve been so sure that I made the right decision. He was adamant that he didn’t want to get married, and that he wouldn’t change his mind even though he loved me. It was a good decision, but we both cried because we loved each other and we were heartbroken we couldn’t make it work. Or at least that’s what I thought.” It took Ben a moment to realise what she meant.

“He phoned to tell you he didn’t love you?” Fresh tears spilled down Rey’s cheeks as she nodded.

“He didn’t not want to get married, he just didn’t want to marry _me_. He didn’t love _me_.”

“I thought you were over him.”

“I am, I really am, but why didn’t he love me? Is there something about me that makes the people in my life not love me?” Ben was quick to pull her back into a hug.

“C’mon, Rey, you must know that isn’t true.”

“My parents,” she argued.

“They were idiots for giving you up.”

“My foster father.”

“Was an abuser and a crook and should be serving jail time.”

“Poe,” she mumbled into his shirt.

“Is the stupidest person on the planet for letting you go.” Rey sniffled and looked up at him, searching for something in his eyes. He knew she’d found it when she leaned in to kiss him.

Ben had spent more time than he cared to admit thinking about what it would be like to kiss Rey. He imagined - if it ever happened - that it would be a natural, gentle kiss that would eventually turn into something more. This was not how he imagined it.

The initial brush of Rey’s lips on his was gentle and teasing, but when she met no resistance she pulled him into a feverish, hungry kiss that took him completely by surprise. He returned the kiss as deeply as he could as they sunk down onto her bed.

*

Rey’s Apartment  
1988

Everything was perfect. Being in Ben’s arms felt exactly how she had imagined it. She was tired and there was a slight ache in various muscles, but sated and satisfied. Her face hurt from the huge smile on her face, but she couldn’t make it go away. She couldn’t see Ben’s face when she looked up at him.

“You okay?” She murmured and placed a kiss to his chest. He shifted underneath her as he nodded.

“Mhmm,” he hummed.

“I’m going to get some water, do you want anything?” 

“No, thank you.” Rey pressed a quick kiss to his jaw and slid out of bed, quickly pulling on an oversized t-shirt before padding out of the room to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

She didn’t know when she’d fallen for her best friend, but last night had felt so right to her. She’d felt something - a flicker, really - when they’d attended the New Year’s Eve party together, but she had never imagined they’d end up here together. Her smile grew even bigger. Sure, the circumstances weren’t exactly the best, but she couldn’t care less.

Ben was lying in the same position she’d left him in when she went back into her room. She put a bottle of water on the bedside table next to him, anyway. He’d probably need it. She heard him thank her as she shuffled around to her side of the bed. Taking him in now, she noticed he looked slightly petrified. She pulled back the covers and slid back into bed, resting her head on his chest. Even though she was touching him, he seemed to shrink away from her.

The silence between them stretched on for an eternity, and she began to think maybe he had some regrets.

“Do you want to get some sleep?” She asked once the silence had become unbearable. 

“Sure…” Rey rolled over and flicked her light off, and this time she stayed on her side of the bed instead of rolling back to him. 

“Goodnight,” she murmured. Ben only hummed in response. A ball of dread had settled in her stomach where euphoria had once been, only expanding once she realised he had no intention of pulling her close. She had a feeling he wouldn’t be there when she woke up, and that this had all meant more to her than it had to him.

*

Rey’s Apartment  
1988

Ben had been awake since exactly 4:13 am. He’d lay in bed listening to Rey breathe for the past hour and forty six minutes, stewing in a mess of his own thoughts. He looked at his watch as it ticked from 5:59 to 6:00 am. An hour and forty seven minutes. As quietly as he could, he slid out of bed and got dressed. He considered freshening up in her bathroom, but that only created a lot of noise, and his place was nearby anyway. He tugged his shoes on and glanced at Rey, only to find her looking at him anyway. He could tell she knew exactly what he was doing, but he couldn’t help the excuse that tumbled from his mouth anyway.

“I’ve gotta go get ready for work,” not true, “but I’ll see you later if you’re free?” She nodded. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her look so small and betrayed. The last thing he saw when he shut her bedroom door was her tears shining in the sunlight that filled the room. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

That night had been mind blowing, the best sex of his life and a complete and utter mistake. She was upset, and he’d wanted to make her feel better but he’d done it for all the wrong reasons and it was just bad. He’d treated her like every other one night stand he’d had even though she was nothing like the other women he’d been with - she was _Rey_ for crying out loud.

Now he just had to figure out exactly what that meant.

He phoned Finn as soon as he got into his apartment.

“It’s six in the morning,” his friend growled down the phone. Ben grinned despite himself. Finn was not a morning person.

“Hello, sunshine.”

“Why on earth are you calling me at this time in the morning, Solo?”

“I think I’ve earned the right to call you at any hour, given the fact I’ve put up with you for so long.” He really loved riling Finn up when he was grumpy, but he hadn’t been able to do so effectively in a long time.

“What. Is. It.” Finn snapped. Right, he had a real life problem.

“I, uh, slept with Rey last night.” He heard rustling as Finn sat up in bed.

“You _what_?” 

“I went to her place because she was upset - Poe’s getting married - and I was comforting her and one thing led to another and… yeah.”

“Finally! Me and Rose have been talking about it for ages, you two just make sense, you know? And you spent all this time trying to convince me it was platonic, you absolute idiot. How was it?” He could practically see Finn celebrating. 

“Well, it felt good at the time, but then afterwards I just had to get out of there. I thought I was going to explode, I felt suffocated, and she was acting all _‘coupley’_ and I regret it. I think I just ruined our friendship, Finn. She looked so upset when I left, which is what I get for telling her how I usually operate after a one night stand, and I don’t want to do it again, but I don’t want to lose her.”

“It sucks that it didn’t work out, man. Maybe just tell her how you feel and hope for the best. I’m sure she doesn’t want to lose you either.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Want to come over for breakfast?” Ben’s stomach twisted into a knot instead of rumbling.

“No thanks, I’m going to shower and try not to think about this for the rest of the day.”

“Alright, man, call me later if you want to talk some more okay?”

“Thanks, Finn. I’ll let you know how everything goes, anyway. I’m seeing her later.” He hung up after Finn wished him good luck. Now he just had to figure out how to tell Rey it had been a huge mistake without completely offending her. Hopefully, she’d say it before he did.

*

Rey’s Apartment  
1988

Rey managed to wait until she was dressed before phoning Rose. She picked up on the fourth ring, her usual sunshine self despite the time. Rey twisted the cord around her finger.

“Rose, I made a huge mistake last night.” Getting right to the point was probably the best way to go about this.

“Oh no, honey, what happened?”

“I was upset last night because of Poe, so Ben came over and he was really lovely and he kept saying things and then I slept with him.” She barely took a breath as the words just rushed out of her.

“Rey that’s great! You two are meant to be, honey, believe me.”

“Well, I thought it was great. God, Rose, I was so deliriously happy, but as soon as it was over I just knew Ben didn’t feel the same way. He had this look on his face like a deer caught in headlights, then I woke up this morning to him trying to sneak out. He even told me he has to go to work.”

“But Ben doesn’t work on a Saturday.” Rose gasped.

“Exactly.”

“I’m so sorry, Rey.”

“It’s all my fault. What if our entire friendship was just a ploy to get me into bed because I rejected him all those years ago?”

“I’m sure that’s not the case, Rey. You two just need to talk it out.” There was the voice of reason she had been missing.

“Yeah, you’re right. He said he’d see me later so I guess we’ll talk then.”

“That’s good. Do you want to come over for breakfast? I’ll make pancakes.” Rey definitely couldn’t stomach food at this point.

“No, thanks, I think I’m just going to lie in bed and stare at the wall.”

“Okay, honey, phone me if you need anything or just want to talk, okay?”

“You’re the best.”

“Good luck later. Love you.” Rose hung up, leaving Rey to curl into a ball on her bed. She’d just have to save face and tell him it was a mistake. Hopefully he’d agree and they could go back to normal. And hopefully she’d get to say it before he did.

*

The Alderaan Eatery  
1988

The whole evening was a big pile of awkwardness. Neither of them had been able to string more than two sentences together from the moment they’d sat down. Rey took a sip of her cocktail and fiddled with the napkin in front of her.

“Last night shouldn’t have happened.” She said, finally looking up at him. Ben let out a sigh of relief.

“I agree. It’s not that it wasn’t good, we just shouldn’t have done it.” Rey nodded and took a gulp of her drink.

“I’m relieved that you think so.” They nodded in agreement and fell silent. Ben couldn’t tell if the silence was uncomfortable or if it was just him. A waiter appeared at their table and put their meals down. They ate in silence. It only took him a moment to realise that it wasn’t just him that was uncomfortable.

“Do you know what I love about our friendship?” He asked. Rey shook her head. “I love that we can be together and not feel pressured to talk. We can just be quiet with each other. I think it shows how comfortable we are with each other, I really do.” Rey looked almost pained. They continued to eat in silence.

*

Bespoke Bridal  
1988

Finn and Rose were engaged, and Rey was happy for them, she really was, but their (pre)marital felicity just reminded Rey that she was, in fact, still single. Things with Matt had ended once Rey had realised her feelings about Ben. And Ben? Well, she hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. Three, to be exact. She glanced up at Rose, who was standing on a small platform in just her underwear while the designer - a tall, purple haired, one-woman powerhouse named Amilyn - sorted out the dress she had picked.

“Is Ben talking Tania to your wedding?” Subtle, Rey. Very subtle.

“No, they broke up.” Rose raised a knowing eyebrow at her.

“Is he seeing anyone at the moment?” Amilyn approached Rose with an armful of beautiful white lace. Rose grinned and stepped into it, practically vibrating with excitement as Amilyn did the buttons up the back and began putting the veil on her head.

“He was seeing some sports reporter, but I’m not really sure if they’re still together.” She turned to face Rey. “What do you think?” Rey looked up from the magazine in her hands and gasped. Rose looked breathtaking. She had chosen a traditional Vietnamese áo dài based on the ones her mother and grandmother had worn on their wedding days. The dress itself was made of beautifully intricate lace, and flowing white trousers underneath. The veil, too, was made of lace and it fell down her back onto the floor. The ensemble flattered Rose’s figure and made her look almost ethereal. Rey felt tears pool in her eyes.

“Rose, you look so beautiful.” That didn’t begin to cover it, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“You don’t think I look silly in all this lace?”

“No! No, you look perfect.” She felt a tear slip down her cheek. Rose deserved all of this.

*

Rose and Finn’s Wedding  
1988

Finn was nervous. No matter what Ben said, nothing seemed to calm him down. He was adamant it was just pre-wedding jitters, but Ben had a sneaking suspicion he thought Rose wasn’t going to show up. Ben knew even the idea of that was insane. They were standing next to the judge at the end of the aisle, awaiting her arrival with various levels of anxiety. As if reading his thoughts, the string quartet began playing, a forewarning of the bride’s imminent appearance. And then he saw her.

Rey.

She looked stunning in the deep green dress Rose had picked out for her maid of honor. Her hair was more intricately styled than he had ever seen it, with loose curls falling to her shoulders and a dainty crown made of flowers sitting on top of her head. She was holding a bouquet of red, white and green foliage - something to do with winter colours for a winter wedding - and she was _not_ looking at him.

She’d never looked more beautiful.

It took him a moment to realise that both Rey and Rose had made it to the end of the aisle. Rose’s father kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand before placing it in Finn’s. The older man had tears in his eyes, but he looked so proud as he watched his daughter take her place before the judge.

The rest of the ceremony was a blur, and the only detail he could recall with perfect clarity was Rey and how she looked and the way her eyes shone as she watched her best friend exchange marriage vows with the love of her life.

Finn and Rose looked completely euphoric as they ran down the aisle hand in hand.

Ben was afraid that the feeling in his chest felt dangerously close to jealousy.

*

The Wedding Reception  
1988

Rey had never felt like more of an outsider in her entire life, not even when she was a scrawny foster kid wearing clothes six sizes too big for her to school. The only people she knew well enough were Rose, Finn, and Paige and her family… and Ben. And since her friends were all otherwise engaged, she was standing off to the side trying to look less awkward than she felt. Apparently, Paige wanted to introduce her to her brother-in-law, who was single, handsome and just her type, so she had that to avoid, too. She knew Paige meant well, but Rey had now made a personal vow to avoid dating until she figured out what the hell was wrong with her, which was something her therapist (who Rey had only just started seeing, but liked very much) agreed with, though she vehemently argued there was nothing ‘the hell wrong with her’ she was just traumatised and confused.

“Hey.” Rey jumped out of her skin. She hadn’t noticed Ben approach her.

“Hi,” she nodded slightly but didn’t look at him.

“Beautiful ceremony.”

“It really was.” Rey clasped her hands together in front of her. Ben looked at her searchingly, clearly trying to find a way to make conversation.

“I hate the holidays; I’d prefer to sleep from Thanksgiving to the New Year.” Rey nodded. This she knew - it was something they had in common. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” she mumbled. It was about time she had another drink.

“How’s Matt?” This got her to look at him. He seemed relieved when their eyes met.

“I am _not_ going to talk about this with you.” She snapped. Seriously, where was a waiter when she needed one?

“Is this because of what happened?” Rey didn’t respond, so he took that to mean yes. “Seriously, Rey, how long are you going to hold onto this? Can’t we just move on?”

“ _‘Move on’_? It only just happened, Ben!” People were starting to give them looks now, making Rey realise just how much she’d raised her voice. She grabbed Ben’s sleeve and dragged him outside against his protests.  
“It happened like a month ago, Rey! What are you so uptight about?”

“I am not being _uptight_! I am just baffled at how little it all affects you - you’re acting as if that night didn’t mean anything at all!”

“It’s not that it didn’t mean anything, exactly, I just don’t think we have to carry it around with us like it was some kind of life changing event!”

“Well it was to _me_! And you couldn’t handle that so you disappeared the first chance you got instead of sucking it up and just talking to me! You didn’t have to sleep with me that night if you didn’t feel the same way - I wasn’t going to _make_ you! I just thought, stupidly, that maybe you wanted me the same way I wanted you.”

“I knew this was a mistake! I knew as soon as it happened that you would get all these ideas in your head, but let me make one thing perfectly clear, alright? I did not go to your apartment with the intention of sleeping with you. But you were so upset and you needed me, so I -” she cut him off with a sharp slap right across his face. 

“Fuck you, Ben.” Rey no longer had the energy to shout at him. She was drained. All this time she thought that he’d wanted her, even if it was just for one night, but learning it was just out of pity took the wind out of her sails. _Screw him_ , she thought, _screw him and his pity_. Rey pushed past him and stormed back inside, Ben following hot on her heels. 

When they re-entered the party, the guests were assembled around the bandstand, and Finn was in the middle of giving a toast. Rey stopped in her tracks and hung back, ignoring Ben as he came up behind her. Just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, Finn pointed them out in the crowd.

“And finally, I want to thank Ben and Rey, our best friends. If it weren’t for you two, I never would have met the love of my life, and I thank God every day that neither of us wanted to date either of you.” This drew a laugh from the guests. “To Ben and Rey.” Everyone raised their glasses to them, and Rey could feel her face heating up. She almost died when Rose grinned and tossed the bouquet straight at her, but she caught it in spite of everything she was feeling. The guests cheered and moved on. Rey wasn’t sure if she felt suicidal or homicidal.

*

The Organa-Solo Household  
1988

Ben’s father still had a thing for old, rundown cars. Once they’d started talking again, Ben had found something oddly comforting in the familiarity of Han Solo’s greatest hobby. Currently, he was working on his shitty old Falcon that he’d had ever since before Ben was born. It felt nice to be helping his dad work on the car again, even if the stains would never come out of the t-shirt he was wearing. This is where the two of them always got along best.

“Your mom told me to ask you to come for Christmas dinner even though she asked you at Thanksgiving anyway.” Han grumbled as he rooted around his toolbox for something. A small smile appeared on Ben’s face before he could will it away.  
“I told her I’d be here, and I meant it.”

“Good,” Han patted his shoulder firmly before he stuck his head under the hood of the car.

“Why on earth do you insist on keeping this rust bucket going? It’s falling apart more than you are, old man.” He teased, grinning as his father cursed at him.

“It’s a great car, and she’ll be yours once I finally bite it.”

“You know, they say spiteful people live the longest.”

“Then I guess we won’t be getting rid of your mother any time soon.” They laughed for a moment, and Ben felt lighter than he had in a long time. “What’s got you down, kid?” Of course Han could tell there was something bothering him. He’d always told Ben he wore all his emotions on his face.

“A girl. Not one I’m in a relationship with, before you get excited and tell mom. She’s just a friend - was just a friend, anyway. I really fucked up, dad.” The story spilled out of him before he could even think about it. Han always had that effect on him, which bothered them both, but he listened and gave gruff-yet-questionable advice and encouragement. He knew his son would figure out the right thing to do, eventually.

“Kid, I’m going to tell you a little known fact about women.” He paused dramatically. “They love it when you apologise for whatever it is that you’ve done to offend them. I used to piss your mom off all the time -”

“Used to?”

“Funny. Anyway, in the end, I apologised for whatever it is I had done, then she apologised, and then we made up. And if what I had done was _truly_ biblical, a little bit of grovelling never hurt. If she’s worth keeping in your life, son, there isn’t that should stop you from fighting to keep her in it. Maybe she won’t forgive you, but she might just talk to you if she sees how much you want to keep her in your life. Also, use a bit of that Solo charm you inherited from your old man, it goes a long way.” Surprisingly, most of what his father said made sense. Ben knew what he had to do.

He had to grovel his ass off.

*

96th Street  
1988

So it turned out carrying a Christmas tree home by yourself was not easy in any way, shape or form, but Rey was going to get the damn thing back to her apartment herself or die trying. It would be just her luck, dying in the middle of the sidewalk barely three weeks before Christmas. Nonetheless, she persevered, holding it by the trunk and dragging it the few blocks to her apartment, leaving a trail of pine needles behind her.

Her answer machine was beeping when she opened the door, but she ignored it as she forced the tree through the doorway and dragged it into the living room. Paige and Rose would have to help her get it into the stand whenever they arrived. She took a deep breath and tugged her hat, gloves and jacket off before pressing the play button on the machine.

“Hi Rey, it’s me. I just wanted to phone to say I’m sorry for everything. Call me when you get this… if you want to talk to me, that is. I miss you.” Rey slid down the wall next to the machine. The temptation to call him was almost overwhelming, but she knew there would be no point. He would want their friendship to go back to normal as if nothing had ever happened, and would pretend to not know how Rey felt about him, and then she would have to watch as he continued to date and eventually fall in love and get married to someone else. The idea didn’t appeal.

It was good that Rose and Paige arrived before she could spiral any further. She hauled herself up off the floor to let them in and hoped they wouldn’t notice that she felt like utter crap, but she had no such luck. Daisy was at home with a cold this year, so Rey had no shame in immediately breaking into the wine.

“Is it something to do with Ben?” Rose watched her with concern as she gulped down half of her glass at once. Rey sighed and played his message for them.

“Why don’t you call him? You miss him too.” Paige took her glass off her.

“I do miss him, but it’s just too hard. Ben said men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always got in the way, and he was right, because we had sex and now we can’t be friends because I’m in love with him and he isn’t in love for me. I think it’s healthier for me if we aren’t friends, no matter how much I miss him. It would kill me to watch him date. Our friendship wouldn’t be the same anyway, despite what Ben thinks.”

“If you think that’s what’s best, then we’re here for you.” Paige wrapped an arm around her.

“Full disclosure, I still like him and will continue to be his friend.” Rose wrapped an arm around her other side. Rey nodded - she hadn’t expected Rose to unfriend him - and pulled them into the living room.

“Time to decorate, ladies. Rose, you pick a CD while Paige and I get the decorations.” They sprang to action and untangled themselves from her. Rey was struck, not for the first that she was incredibly lucky to have those women in her life.

*

Ben’s Apartment  
1988

He was calling her for about the millionth time. Normally, he had more pride than this, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He missed her. He felt like he couldn’t breathe without her. He felt like he couldn’t _function_ without her. Not seeing her made his days drag on for years. He yelled at his subordinates at work so much his uncle had to step in and tell him to take a walk.

So yeah, he was not coping.

She wouldn’t return his calls, though, no matter how much he apologised. She never picked up, either, so she was either screening every call in case it was him or was just exceptionally good at guessing when it was him that was calling. Han was going to owe him so much if he kept doing this and she still wouldn’t speak to him. Honestly, he was only a couple steps away from turning up at her door.

“Hey, it’s me… again. If you’re there please, please pick up. I really want to talk to you, Rey.” He paused for a moment to give her time to answer. “Okay, I’m going to assume you’re not there. I miss you. Call me back.” He was really making a complete ass of himself.

*

Central Park  
1988

“She clearly doesn’t want to talk to me. I can take a hint. I’m not going to call her anymore.”

“So you’re done acting like a complete idiot, then?” Finn puffed as they jogged along past Bethesda Fountain.

“Absolutely. If she wants to talk, she can phone me.”

“I’m glad to hear it. It sucks you two couldn’t work it out, but there are certain things you just have to let go.”

“Thanks, man.”

“This is why you don’t sleep with your friends.”

“Why do I even bother talking to you?”

*  
Rey’s Apartment  
1988

Rey shuffled through the door with her arms full of groceries. Today would be seventeen days PB (post Ben), and she was becoming more depressed by the day. It was getting harder for her to convince herself that those two facts didn’t correlate. It took her a moment to realise he was talking on her machine.

“ - I really, really miss you, Rey. You’re my best friend. Nothing makes sense without you, so I’m going to call you every day until you speak to me. We’ve got to make this work. I’ll do whatever you want just please call me, okay?” She put her shopping bags on her kitchen counter and stared at the phone before caving and picking it up.

“Hi, Ben.” She heard him stutter on the other end of the call.

“Thank God - I mean hey. I didn’t know you were there, I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”

“I was, uh, just on my way out, actually.” A white lie wouldn’t hurt. She might need an escape plan.

“Out with Matt? Because I was just thinking, I don’t have a date, so if you don’t have a date for Ahsoka’s New Year’s Eve party, maybe we could go together? We said we would…”

“Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Ben - I am not a second choice. I will not be the person you turn to because no other girl is available, and I am not only here to make you feel better when your ego has been bruised. I am a real person with real feelings that you should respect whether or not you return them.” She slammed the phone down before he could reply.

Her tears came thick and fast, scorching trails down her cheeks before they dripped onto the floor. Never in her life had someone tried so desperately to come back to her. In her experience, people who left her never came back. Ben was trying so hard to get back into her life, and for a multitude of reasons she couldn’t let him. The weak parts inside her wanted to let him.

*

The Organa-Solo Household  
1988

Ben hadn’t spent New Year’s at his parents since he turned 21; drinking with friends had been more enticing than spending all night with the grumpiest men known to mankind and enduring whatever question his mother and her friends had about his love life, or lack thereof. But this year, they’d managed to persuade him to join them.

“How did things go with your lady friend?” Han asked him as Ben passed him a beer.

“Your advice sucked, old timer. She still isn’t talking to me.”

“You obviously didn’t grovel hard enough.”

“It’s unlikely that she’ll ever talk to me again.”

“Who’s not talking to you?” Great, now Luke was involved.

“A girl,” Han replied before Ben could tell his uncle to mind his own damn business. Luke grinned and sat across from them.

“And you chose to ask this moron for help?” This managed to pull a smile from Ben.

“Well it’s not like he can ask his hermit uncle for help with the ladies. When was the last time you spoke to one that isn’t Amilyn, Maz or you sister?”

“At this point I will take all the help I can get.” If he’d known this would mean having to explain everything to his entire family, he never would have said anything. As he told them about Rey, he had to ignore the barely contained glee on his mother’s face. She was probably planning a wedding for them in her head. Once he finished, she sighed happily.

“I never thought I’d ever see you in love, Ben.” Leia smiled at him and Amilyn hummed in agreement. Ben scowled.

“I am not in love with her.” His tone was definitely undercut by the blush burning across his face. “I need some air,” he pushed away from the table and grabbed his jacket without looking back. Because he wasn’t in love with her, was he? They bickered constantly, but he always felt a certain unnamed tension there if he was completely honest with himself. Their relationship was the reason most of his semi-serious girlfriends had dumped him over the past couple of years, but even the notion of ending their friendship had always been something he vehemently dismissed. She made him smile and laugh and called him on his bullshit when he was being really pigheaded, and she was the most intelligent and beautiful woman he’d ever met. He needed her and -

Oh, shit.

He was in love with Rey. 

And worst of all, his mother had been right.

Ben blinked and found himself at the curb Rey had dropped him off at eleven years ago. His feet had carried him there without his knowledge, but as he looked up at the arch he could almost hear Rey wishing him good luck as they parted ways. What a huge mistake walking away from her had been. He’d acted like an ass the entire journey just to get her to notice him, he knew that now. What a sad twist of fate this was.

He began to question what he was standing around for. He’d let her slip through his fingers three times in the past eleven years, and now he’d come to the grand realisation that he was, in fact, in love with her and he was just going to stand out on the street until he froze to death? He turned his collar up against the cold and started speed walking to the party. Finn had sworn up and down that she’d be there, so all he could do was pray she hadn’t left yet.

Speed walking wasn’t working for him, so he quickly broke into a jog, then a full sprint. He threw himself around corners and pounded down the concrete pavements until he was outside the hotel where the party was being held.  
He inhaled deeply, then took the stairs two at a time.

*

Ahsoka Tano’s New Year’s Eve Party  
1988

The music was too loud, the lights were too bright and the absolute buffoon Finn and Rose had introduced her to was spinning her way too fast across the dancefloor. He was tall, but hadn’t really grown into his height, not the way Ben had. She blinked and forced him out of her head, which was hard when her partner dipped her suddenly and she was brought back to last year when Ben had made the whole evening much more enjoyable. Suddenly, they were dancing by Finn and Rose.

“I can’t believe I let you force me to go to this.” She hissed as she passed Rose’s ear. Her friend just grinned at her. Her heart jumped into her mouth as she was dipped again. The whole thing was making her wish she’d just stayed at home.

The next man her friends force on her was even worse. They didn’t dance - she refused to endure that again - but he was one of those men who thought he had a great sense of humour despite all of his jokes being either dull, offensive or both. Nevertheless, Rey plastered a fake smile on her face and laughed when the timing was right and just drank more and more champagne. In her experience, alcohol could make anyone funny. When the man was distracted telling another (dull) anecdote about his job, Rey leaned into Rose.

“I am going home.”

“Good luck getting a taxi on New Year’s Eve.” Rey hated it when her best friend was right. She turned back to the man with an even bigger fake smile. This night was going to take _forever_.

She waited another ten minutes before getting her coat and approaching her friends. Finn, Rose and Paige all begged her to stay - Finn even said he would kiss her if what she was really upset about was not kissing anybody, but she was adamant. Besides, kissing someone wasn’t what she needed right now. What she needed was her bed, a glass of wine and her battered old copy of Pride and Prejudice. Extracting herself from their pleading was going to be an ordeal, she knew, but she had to get out of there before midnight. She kissed their cheeks and pulled her coat over her shoulders.

“Just stay until the ball drops,” Paige begged, giving Rey her best puppy dog eyes. Rey shook her head.

“I have to go, I’m sorry. Enjoy the rest of the party.” She turned and walked away before they could say anything else. She made it to the top of the stairs when she crashed into something - well, someone.

“Rey?” She gasped and looked up.

“Ben?” He smiled, and for a moment Rey forgot that they had fallen out.

“I’m glad I caught you. I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“I love you.” Rey’s brain short circuited. It couldn’t be possible, surely he was just making fun of her. “I know you love me, too, Rey.” He reached up and cupped her face gently just as she regained control of herself. She batted his hand away.  
“You can’t just come here and say that and think it fixes everything! I know this is a hard time of year for you, but you can’t do this to me and expect me to drop everything to be at your beck and call just so you can toss me aside when you’re done with me! Please just let me go home.” Rey blinked back tears. The last thing she wanted right now was mascara streaks down her face for when she inevitably walked back to her apartment.

“I don’t - I’m not -” Ben stuttered before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment. “Look, I’ll admit I’ve been an idiot. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did and I don’t have a good excuse, but being without you has been utter torture and it wasn’t until about twenty minutes ago I actually realised why that was. I love you. I love you and I’ll tell you as many times as it takes to get you to believe it and then a million more times after that because it’s true. I love you and everything about you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and there is nothing you can say to me that will make me change my mind. So just tell me you love me too and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.” Rey sniffled as tears began to slip down her cheeks.

“Of course it took you this long to realise,” she laughed tearfully, “I love you too.” Ben’s smile was heartbreakingly beautiful, but Rey chose to pull him in for a kiss instead of admiring it. Around them, the crowd began celebrating the new year.

*

Epilogue  
1989

Ben was nervous. Nothing Finn said could calm him down, but he was certain it was just pre-wedding jitters. Rey would be there, he knew.

They’d gotten engaged almost three weeks after they’d started dating. His mother had given him his grandmother’s engagement ring, and he’d just gone for it. He’d never wanted anything more than he wanted to marry her. That was three months ago. When they’d given Leia their initial time frame, the poor woman almost had a stroke, but they were adamant. They wanted to get married as soon as they possibly could, but to appease the steamroller that was Leia Organa-Solo, they’d agreed to have a proper ceremony instead of just going to City Hall.

The string quartet began playing, and Ben’s eyes zeroed in on the door of the church. Daisy came through first, looking utterly adorable in her little dress, then Jyn, Paige and Rose and then - _finally_ \- Rey.

She’d always been beautiful to him, but right now she looked otherworldly. Her dress was form fitting in the most teasing way, and the white fabric made her skin look impossibly golden. She was walking down the aisle with Cassian - who had been honoured to have been asked to give her away - at a pace much too slow for Ben’s liking.

Finally, Cassian was placing her hand in his and she was by his side. The ceremony was a blur of exchanging vows and rings and eternal promises, but all Ben could focus on was the way Rey shone with happiness. It proved impossible to keep the smile off his face. They ran out of the church hand in hand, laughing as their friends tossed confetti over the top of them.

The first moment of peace they’d had all day came in the car. Breathless and slightly sweaty, but blessedly happy nonetheless, Ben pulled Rey in for a deep kiss. She hummed against his lips and ran a hand through his hair. Everything was perfect.

“I love you, Mrs Solo.” Rey smiled widely up at him.

“I love you too,” she breathed. If they convinced the driver to take a long detour to the reception so they could continue to make out in the back of the car, well, that was nobody else’s business.

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Remember to kudos, or leave a comment if you want.


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